to the ends of the earth || ellie williams (book one)

thirty eight

I laid awake for hours, staring at the ceiling with my hands rested on my abdomen. Pulling myself to a seated position, I wrapped the blanket around my shoulders to gaze out the little window. I noticed that you could see the safe zone from her window, just down the mountains tucked in a little gap in the trees.

It was hard to sleep without her next to me. It was difficult enough when I was in my own bed but it was near impossible in hers. When I closed my eyes, I mistook her warm scent on the pillow for her, leaning over in a half-asleep haze and meeting nothing but emptiness.

I crawled towards the edge of the raised bed area, peering down to see her sleeping soundly on the couch, her chest rising and falling slowly as she breathed deeply. Kicking my legs over the ledge, I began to lower myself down the ladder to the floor with the blanket still wrapped around my shoulders. I scurried across the floor, jumping out of my skin when I heard her say my name.

"Sorry. I was just getting some water," I whispered awkwardly, "I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't wake me," She said, leaning up on her elbows to look at me in the warm low light cast from the little lamp in the corner, "I can't sleep."

"Me neither," I sighed, perching at the end of the couch that she laid across, "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure,"

"Why won't you sleep in bed with me?" I asked sheepishly.

She took a deep breath, diverting her gaze before adjusting her position.

"I don't know. It's been a long time," She shrugged.

"Do you not want to?"

"Of course I want to, Char,"

"Then do it," I blurted.

"I can't," She frowned, "I'm sorry."

I nodded my head slowly, my breath hitching as I looked around the room, awkwardly trying to keep my eyes off of her. I hated not being able to admire her in the dim lighting, watch the way her gaze lingered on my own. The soft shadows beneath her lips and nose. Her slightly messy hair falling in front of her face as she leaned back on the sofa cushions.

"Charlotte..." She began, "Why did you come here?"

I shrugged earnestly, melting into the couch and covering my face with my hands. I ran my fingers through my hair before taking a deep breath, turning my face to look at her.

"I just wanted you to come home," I shrugged.

"This is my home now," She smiled sadly, "I'm not coming back."

"I know,"

"I'm sorry I couldn't be better to you, Char. I really wanted to be,"

"I know,"

"And if I could go back and do things differently, I would. I wouldn't have let you follow me to Seattle, I never should've let you come,"

"I'd do the same thing a thousand times if it meant I got to be with you, Ellie," I muttered, "I'd go to hell and back for you."

"And I'll never be able to thank you deeply enough for that, Charlotte. But you have to let me go now," She sighed, "I can't be the person you need me to be."

"I don't need you to be anybody, Ellie. Don't you get it?" I asked, leaning forward a little to speak to her, "I just need you."

"Say that again," She responded quietly.

"What?" I asked.

"I said say that again,"

"I just need you. I only need you,"

She nodded her head slowly, looking around the room for a few seconds before shaking her head.

"Fuck it," She sighed, leaning forward to grab my face and smash her lips against mine.

Her hands tangled in my hair as our lips moved against each others sloppily. The kiss was desperate and needy, I needed her touch more than I needed the oxygen I breathed. I pushed her back, straddling her waist as we continued to kiss. She pulled my shirt over my head, her cold fingers tracing down my waist to the hem of my shorts.

Ellie flipped us over, pulling my shorts down my legs and quickly reconnecting her lips to my neck. She laid sloppy kisses down my warm skin, moaning quietly in my ear as I arched my back off of the couch. I whimpered at her touch like I'd never been touched before. She continued to kiss down my collarbones, my chest and eventually my lower stomach.

"Tell me how badly you need it," She whispered against my thigh as she began to litter soft kisses on my tender skin.

"And if I don't?" I challenged breathlessly.

Ellie brought herself back to my eye line, her fingers gripping my jaw as she forced my eyes on hers. She stroked her thumb down my lips, pushing it past them and on to my tongue. I sucked her finger gently, my eyes wide on hers.

"If you don't, I'll stop..." She shrugged.

I pushed her thumb out of my mouth with my tongue, sighing as I stared into her eyes before shaking my head.

"I need it so badly, Ellie... please," I admitted with hesitation.

"Doesn't really seem like you need it that bad," She smirked, tracing her fingers over my underwear causing me to writhe in anticipation, "Try again."

"Fuck," I sighed in defeat, "Please. I need you so bad, Ellie. Please."

"Please, what? Tell me what you want,"

"You know what I want,"

"Do I?" She teased.

"I want you to fuck me," I muttered.

"Didn't quite get that,"

"I want you to fuck me," I half-yelled causing her to chuckle dryly.

"Better,"

Ellie pulled my underwear down my legs, discarding it across the room before bringing her fingers to my newly exposed skin. She gently began to stroke my pussy, her fingertips gently grazing my clit as she lazily traced my skin. I bucked my hips in desperation which only caused her to chuckle. She dipped her finger inside me, pulling it out to place the finger against my tongue.

"Feel how wet you are. Almost like this is what you've been waiting for all night," She smirked.

"Oh, shut up," I scoffed.

She chuckled at my reaction, positioning herself between my legs to begin kissing my pussy gently. She flicked her tongue over my clit causing my back to arch off of the couch, my fingers tangling in her hair as she continued to provide me with pleasure I was sure I'd only ever dreamed of.

She gently pushed two fingers inside me, thrusting them in and out at a slow pace as she continued to eat me out. My breath hitched as the familiar feeling began to grow in my lower stomach, my legs began to shake as I gripped her hair and my moans grew louder and louder.

"Oh my god. I'm close," I panted, pushing my hips into her as I grunted with pleasure.

"You can do it, baby. Cum for me," She encouraged, her free hand pushing lightly on my lower stomach as my whole body tensed.

I continued to roll my hips as I came, my legs still shaking violently as she pulled away from me with a grin.

"Missed me, did you?" She teased, "You were cumming before I'd even touched you there."

"Oh my god, shut up," I groaned, slamming a pillow into her face as I covered my own out of pure embarrassment.

"Come on," She mumbled, "Let's go to bed."