to the ends of the earth || ellie williams (book one)

eight

When I arrived home I saw my father leant over the kitchen counter, staring out the window so deep in thought that he didn't notice me walking in.

"Dad?" I asked quietly, walking up behind him to place a gentle hand on his shoulder, "Are you okay?"

"Charlotte... we need to talk."

"Sure.. what's up?" I questioned finding it extremely difficult to hide the concern in my voice.

"I've been tapping into a radio Tommy and I fixed up. I've been speaking to someone on there.. he's a firefly. They're regrouping and want us to go," He stammered as he clearly struggled to find the words, "Your mother... she'd go. If she's out there, she'll go."

"Oh, Dad.." I sighed sadly.

My heart grieved for him. I'd seen pictures of them together, they always looked so happy - so enthralled with each other that they almost forgot other people existed. The way he talked about her made me miss someone I'd barely met. But I didn't believe she was out there, if she was, she'd have come by now. I was sure of it.

"It's not up for discussion, Charlotte. Please don't make this harder for me. We have to try," He said, placing his hands on my shoulder and pulling me in for a tight hug.

I clenched my eyes shut to avoid tears, running up the stairs and slamming my door behind me. I collapsed onto my bed and buried my face into my pillow, screaming so harshly I thought I was going to tear my vocal chords.

My whole life. Everything we'd created.. all gone because my dad was chasing a dream. I knew something was up. He'd been standoffish. Tommy had be around a lot more than usual. I knew he'd never agree to letting me stay. He promised since my mother that he'd never let me out of his sight.

I rolled over to regain my breath. Pulling myself up to a seated position and hugging my knees close to my chest as I sobbed. I knew why we had to go. I understood. That didn't mean I was happy about it, or that I thought it was the right decision. I knew deep down that it wasn't his fault, I knew I'd do the same for him. I just didn't know my mother like he did.

Forcing myself out of bed, I began to pace with my face in my hands. I had to see Ellie, I had to tell her before it was too late. My heart felt like it was breaking and although I hadn't known Ellie in this way for long, I wasn't ready for it to end. I wasn't ready to go.

I slid open my window, hooking my leg over the ledge to pull myself out onto my roof. I tugged at the sleeves of my hoodie to pull them over my hands, it was colder than I'd anticipated. I hopped down to the ground and grabbed my bike, watching the streetlights flick on as I began to cycle.

Sobbing as I cycled, I attempted to ground myself with a deep breath. I felt like something was weighing down on my chest. My movement was restricted. I could barely breathe. What about Dina? And Jesse? How could I leave them behind?

As I approached Joel's house, I left my bike against the house and jumped the fence into the garden. I jogged towards Ellie's door, knocking gently as I tried to regain my breath. She swung the door open, rubbing her eyes tiredly before they widened with shock.

She wore black boxers and a white vest, her hair fell messily around her shoulders as she held opened her front door.

"Char.. what're you doing here?" She asked, stretching her arms over her head causing her vest to lift slightly exposing her toned stomach.

I observed the way her muscles contracted as she stretched, looking away after a while so it didn't look like I was staring.

"I just... wanted to see you," I finally responded.

Ellie nodded gently and stood to the side so that I could slip past her. She took a seat on her bed and I followed along, sitting on the opposite side against the bed frame. She pulled the covers over our legs and smiled softly.

"What's up?" She asked with tired eyes.

"Ellie..." I began, "I've loved getting to know you. I've loved spending time with you. Laughing with you, smoking on hilltops... kissing you,"

She sat up slightly, shifting in her seat and furrowing her brows. She leaned forward with her hands clasped together, turning her head to the side with narrow eyes.

"I just wanted to tell you that even though we haven't been like this for long.. I really appreciate you,"

"Charlotte... what's this about?" She asked bluntly.

I took a moment to observe her. He gentle features, her soft hair that seemed to fall so perfectly even though she'd clearly just woken up. Her long lashes, the way they complimented her bright eyes. Her lips, her cheeks, her nose.

"Nothing. I just wanted to tell you... I have to go anyway. Dina and I have plans," I smiled shakily.

I couldn't tell her. I couldn't look her in the face and tell her that I was leaving and that I might never see her again. So I didn't, I simply stood up and headed for the door causing her to grab my waist and spin me around.

"You'd tell me if there was something up?" She asked with a gentle - but concerned - expression.

"Always," I nodded.

I pressed a kiss to her lips before I left, heading out the door and back towards my bike to ride into the night. I didn't look back. I didn't want to get my 'final look'. I just needed to go.