Hello, Mr. Umbrella

Chapter Eighteen

Needless to say, a love triangle was the last thing Aliyah would ever think of being entangled in, not even in her last year of highschool. The question she was asking herself was: even if it was true that the two boys were in love with her, who would she choose? For Bilal; he was a Muslim, he was handsome, caring and was always careful with his words like they were sharp spears—Aliyah would love to spend the rest of her youth with a fine gent like him. There is nothing wrong with James also, he also had those attributes; he's sinfully handsome, caring, overprotective, selfless and most of all jovial.

Even though James was Aliyah's childhood sweetheart, he still lacked a very vital attribute: he was not a Muslim. Picturing a future which has James in it was somewhat wrong, it can never come to pass.

Or maybe that's how she saw it.

Even when Aliyah wanted to hate James, she still felt attracted to him; she knew her religion contradicts her from dating a non-Muslim, but at the same time, she wasn't prohibited to fall in love with one. Loving James wasn't her fault partially. Since when Aliyah was ten, James was the only friend Aliyah had. He was always in the hospital, waiting beside the bed for Aliyah to wake up. He cared for her, putting Aliyah's interest before his.

He was perfect in every way, only if she could rewrite fate.

"James, are you high on drugs?" Aliyah asked, knowing perfectly James was alright. She couldn't believe her ears; she'd been dying to hear those words from James but him confessing now sounded weird.

Aliyah's word struck James' heart, he unlocked the gate before Aliyah could say another heartbreaking word. "We can at least remain friends. Right?"

Aliyah remained silent.

"I'm so sorry if I've been bothering you. Sorry for almost kissing you. Sorry for—" his voice cracked as a big lump grew in his throat, he felt sharp pains in the corner of his eyes. "—I'm sorry for loving you." He finished and started walking towards the worker's longue, lost and heartbroken.

"James," Aliyah called him back, he turned and looked at mortified Aliyah. "I'm also sorry for being a coward to express my feelings. I'm sorry for making you feel less, I'm sorry for my inability to say the l-word to your face." Aliyah apologized with a smile.

James took footsteps backward, breaking the long distance he had created between them. Something in Aliyah's apology told him she felt the same. "You need not to be scared, I promise to take any reply from you lightly." He lied, knowing perfectly well how his life depended on Aliyah's answer.

"James, I feel the same, but we can't be together. Your father works for my  father, and you're not a —"

James cut her short, "—I'm not a Muslim. I get it now, I'm sorry for bothering you. Have a nice evening Aliyah." Anger and irritation coursed through his veins, what Aliyah said hurt him, even though she didn't mean it that way. James walked away before Aliyah would smash his already-broken heart with her sledgehammer tongue.

Aliyah remained silent, she couldn't summon the courage to stop James or tell him he was wrong. When it comes to choosing, she would choose Bilal; the only thing she could do was love James in her dreams and behind the curtains. Sure, she could be dating James discreetly, but she wasn't ready to lose one thing that made her proud of her religion. Dating James and losing her faith for what? For the boy that might eventually fall out of love with her or try to stop her from covering her head with a scarf.

That was the right decision for them both. Their feelings were supposed to be kept untold.

* * *

That night, Aliyah's eyes were opened like a night owl's; she couldn't find an ounce of sleep. Memories kept clashing themselves—she couldn't help but worry about James. He looked hurt; she was scared to lose what was left in their lifelong friendship. Why in the world would she even think of choosing Bilal over him: someone she just met over her childhood friend.