Retrograde▸bucky barnes

19. Leaving Madripoor

"You know," Lena said, throwing herself onto a leather clad seat of their jet, "when Torres asked me to come to Madripoor, I really did not think it would include so many strange occurrences,"

"What do you mean?" Sam said, also flopping down on the too-nice interior of Zemo's private jet.

"Well for starters you've got the war criminal you broke out of jail-"

"That was not me. That's on Bucky-"

"Same difference. And then Madripoor where somehow our informant gets killed. Then we run into Sharon Carter of all people. Then our other informant gets killed by said war criminal and we almost get exploded. And then the war criminal is the one that rolls up and sort of saves us. And now we're on his private jet."

"Seems like a pretty average day to me," Bucky said strolling in.

Lena rolled her eyes.

"I accept thank-yous in the form of rare vintages of wine," Zemo grinned as he mixed himself a drink.

This time it was Bucky who rolled his eyes in exasperation but Lena barely noticed; she was focused on the way the seat next to her compressed lightly as Bucky sat down, his arm nearly touching hers. Even though he was sitting mere millimeters away, Bucky did not meet her eyes, focusing everywhere but her. Lena couldn't help but find this endearing: he was nervous.

She held this thought in her head as the plane took off, turning it over as if to look at it from all possible angles. Sleep soon began to paw its way into her brain and lull her eyes shut. When it did, Lena didn't stop her head from falling onto Bucky's shoulder.

"All that bickering and bitterness and then she's falling asleep on your shoulder," Zemo whispered not quietly.

Sam didn't respond and Lena wished she could see Bucky's face, but her eyes seemed heavier than ever and the energy it took to even listen to their conversation was suddenly exhausting.

"She's tired," Bucky said softly and Lena felt him shift just enough that she knew he was looking down at her, "this has been a lot for her."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Zemo chuckled, still failing to whisper in a way that was at all convincing.

"Trying to be a soldier and a civilian isn't exactly an easy task," Bucky said, his voice low and tinged with something Lena couldn't quite identify.

Zemo snorted, "You're not civilians. You're weapons."

Lena felt Bucky's figure go stiff with tension and she could only imagine that he was staring daggers at Zemo.

"Not anymore," he said.

"James," Zemo chuckled lightly but without menace, "You may not have HYDRA controlling your every move anymore, but what is the difference when you're still going through your life from one fight to another?"

"Zemo, shut up," Lena mumbled, eyes still closed, "You're not helping."

"I'm just saying it like it is."

"Yeah well, it's different," Bucky huffed, his voice sounding less than sure of his own statement.

Not wanting to reward Zemo with the pleasure of seeing her annoyed, Lena kept her eyes closed and her head resting comfortably on Bucky, "Choosing to fight for a cause you believe in is a hell of a lot different than being brainwashed to commit war crimes."

"That doesn't make you not a weapon Magdalena."

"Whatever Zemo," she mumbled, fed up with Zemo's relentless chatter. Everything that had come out of his mouth since the moment they had met had been a direct attack on everything she had been working to overcome, the thoughts she had been trying to work past.

"You just know I'm right," he said after a moment."

Lena's eyes flew open now, hot anger boiling in her stomach. Based on the way Bucky had gone impossibly still, she suspected he felt the same.

"I don't really care what you think," she snarled, leaning toward him, "and if you keep mouthing off about it, I will throw you out of this plane."

To her surprise, she felt Bucky's hand briefly land on her own. Almost immediately he retracted it and there was a moment of silence in the cabin.

"And I'd help her," Bucky grinned, his voice steady but seeming to lack its usual sureness.

"And I wouldn't stop them," Sam chimed in.

Zemo chuckled, this time with what Lena guessed was real humor, "Unfortunately Sam, I really don't think you'd be able to stop them."

Sam frowned and crossed his arms dramatically, "I can't believe you think so little of me."

Lena caught Bucky's eye and was caught in a fit of giggles.

"What?" Sam said, pretending to look offended, "I'm actually very resourceful."

"Okay buddy," Bucky laughed, a sound that made Lena feel fuzzy and warm, "if you say so."

With the tension broken, the four descended into a casual silence and Lena felt sleep creeping up on her. Again, Lena let herself fall onto Bucky's shoulder, aware that Zemo was still watching them. But she decided she didn't care.

As sleep overtook her, she contemplated the situation, well aware that just two weeks ago she had not thought twice about falling asleep with her head on Bucky's shoulder. A twinge of regret twisted in her stomach at the thought of all those evenings spent blissfully unaware of each other's murderous pasts. But she thought, maybe it was meant to be. Maybe the universe knew we needed to meet again - just under different circumstances.