Retrograde▸bucky barnes

20. Latvia

Lena had decided that Latvia was not her favorite place to spend a weekend. The city was charming, it had probably once even been beautiful, but with the combination of Zemo's incessant commentary, the anxiety of knowing there were supersoldiers on the loose and Bucky's violently unpredictable mood swings on account of Zemo's comments - Lena was ready to go home.

Tonight, Lena and Bucky were first back to Zemo's 'safehouse,' and Lena wasted no time changing out of her combat clothes, hardly caring what Bucky, the neighbors or any other passerby saw through the open windows. Ever the soldier, Bucky adopted the same strategy, stripping off his shirt to expose the metal arm he had previously so carefully kept hidden.

As she pulled on an oversized sweatshirt, Lena's gaze caught on Bucky's arm and she couldn't help but stare, the glint of metal unfamiliar alongside the face she had come to know.

Bucky cleared his throat and Lena unfroze, tearing her gaze away as she blushed furiously.

"You good?" he asked, his voice soft and the question genuine.

"Yeah," Lena said, "yeah I think so."

Slowly, like she would bolt if he moved too fast, Bucky crossed the room to where she stood next to a tufted sofa. He extended his hands, palms up.

"What can I say to assure you I won't hurt you?" he asked softly.

"I know you won't," Lena said as she reached up to run a finger along the jagged line where metal met flesh.

Bucky shivered but didn't say anything, just watched her carefully.

"Does it hurt?" she whispered.

"Not anymore," he said, his tone solemn.

"Oh."

Lena said nothing else but was acutely aware of the thick tension hanging in the space between them. To her surprise, Bucky broke it by simply sitting down on the tufted sofa and pulling on the t-shirt he had left sitting there. He looked back up at her, a grin passing over his features at the look on her face.

"I thought we were having a moment there," Lena said, frowning and trying to keep a smile from forming.

"Were we?" he asked as he abruptly reached for her waist and pulled her toward him. He did not say anything else, but stood hesitantly like he was waiting for her to tell him to stop. His nose touched hers and he froze, still as a statue.

"Can I do this?" he asked, his voice thick.

"I don't know, can you?"

He chuckled and she could feel his breath on her lips, the sound of his laughter filling her with warmth. His hand lifted to cradle her face, the pad of his thumb grazing her cheek. His eyes locked with hers and the moment seemed to last forever, an eternity spent hanging in the balance of almost.

"Are you going to kiss me? Or are you just going to stare at me?" she whispered as her heart thudded in her chest.

Bucky blinked slowly and a lazy smile came across his features, his face so close that she could all but feel the smile forming, "I only get one 'first' kiss darling-"

"And I'd like to hurry it up already."

Bucky's smile was wide as his lips met Lena's, the kiss soft and careful. Lena lifted her hands to mirror his, her fingers smoothing over the planes of his face that she had so longed to touch. She felt herself melting into him, leaning impossibly closer, her body pressed against his. By the time they surfaced for air, Bucky's hands had dropped to her waist, holding her to him in a way that made her feel so safe and loved that her knees abruptly went weak.

As Lena lost her balance, Bucky tried to step back to steady them, but was hindered by the low couch, and they both fell towards it, their laughter echoing through the room.

"Suddenly we're very much horizontal," Lena said, sure that her face had turned a brilliant shade of scarlet.

Bucky reached to tuck a lock of her hair behind her ear, "I'm okay with that."

"Of course you are," she laughed, the sound coming out breathy.

A soft smile pulled across Bucky's features as he reached up to cradle her face, the pad of his thumb briefly resting on her lips. He looked at her a moment longer but did not move to kiss her again. Instead, he wrapped his arms around her, her face folding into the crook of his neck, his chin on her head.

"Darling, I'm okay with whatever you are okay with," he whispered into her hair.

Lena did not respond but nestled against him, taking the opportunity to wrap her arms around his torso. As they both drifted into light sleep there was a twist of anxiety in her stomach that told her that falling in love with someone was dangerous - for her and him - because she knew from this kiss that this was exactly what this was: she was falling in love with him.