Raw Emotion Poems

Villain

Stepping onto the stage

Can you feel the pressure   

of everyone giving you an exact measure

of what they think you deserve

of what they think you have done

of what they hope they can give you.

Don't you think you should rerun?

You don't got a second chance

at the first show.

at the first take.

at the first memory you make.

And even though you have the answers

all your mistakes are validated with cameras.

It is recorded and shown.

It is tested and disowned.

Last time this mattered,

it was all some big joke.

It wasn't really real.

It wasn't anything to be proud of.

And I believed all those lies

because no one knew any different.

and now I can try again.

So everything weighs on this chance.

I don't care right now if these thoughts are unrealistic.

I don't care if they value and want me to succeed.

Because I feel this way

and I don't know how to change it.

It seems better to own it that to be apathetic.

I'm tired of ignoring the pain I've been hiding.

But I shouldn't be feeling this all in the first place.

Because, I've practically got it all perfect.

I am set up for phenomenal success.

But it seems to easy.

I don't deserve this.

When everyone else works to hard just to miss.

I'm lonely and forgotten.

No one understands the road I'm on.

There's not one soul, that has done this before.

And it's scary because now I'm the main character

 of a story that hasn't ever been told before.

I used to be some model, some person

that supported and understood the arc of the protagonist.

I could see every move.

Every failure and triumph.

But I never had to experience first hand. 

And I am to scared to loose like the lead always does.

they always sacrifice something they love.

But if I'm the antagonist,

I've already lost. 

I already experience the pain from the cost.

And I diligently get to nag the hero,

about the path that will make them feel zero.

I'm tired of being silently idolized.

I'd rather be feared, openly, them wishing for my demise.

It's easier to deal with the sympathy of the loss, and the hurt and the pain that came from the cost.

Than to experience the fake support, and the sudden attention.

because if it fails, the kingdom crashes

and the validation you had suddenly doesn't matter.

The villain never needs permission from anyone

The rival has every right to show emotion.

To show the anger, the fear, the frustration.

The hero has their vulnerability taken from them.

They have to be strong.

The villain just is.

The lead has their perfect little story, where everyone knows.

The villain never gets a complete backstory, unless you devote to the redemption in their memory.

They get to have some sort of privacy, and ultimately mystery.

I always want redemption for the villain,

that must be why I made this decision.