Raw Emotion Poems

What is Going on

I cannot write the poem

  that is hidden in my heart

Because it hurts so much

  I don't know how to start

Sometimes I do not notice

  the pain inside my chest

And sometimes I feel ridiculed 

  even when I've tried my best

My head feels like it's empty

  cause it's busy running laps

To keep my brain from remembering

  the olden, over-worn maps

Yet sometimes I am drowning

  feeling weighed down by tiny balls

And they are like bullets 

  that I must carry and hold

The bullets haven't wounded me

 for my wounds have come from stabs

From ripping out pieces of my soul

  that I know I can't have back

I don't want to hurt anyone

  with the replacement of my soul

The bullets must hold some meaning

  and yet I still cannot feel whole

Sometimes I dream of having someone

  that completes my other half

That lifts the weight of emptiness

  that has numbed my past

I dream that I won't be crippled

  when I meet this someone new

But I know I won't ever meet them

  when I don't ever live the truth

I only want to escape

  the power of my mind

That wants me to scream at people 

  who've only ever been kind

But my mind turns them to horror

  inside the evil villainous lair

That will come and stab me

  with their empty glare

They've just up and left me

  because I'm not a good friend

But I'm scared to express I'm drowning

  in the situation I'm in

Yet I don't know where to begin

  I don't know how to start

Because I don't know what has happened

  I don't know what's real or not

My hours are spent trying 

  to not break down in unfair tears

I'm storing them in a dam

  built of iron and unreasonable fears

As you can see

  this is all unhealthy

But I feel like I've not the time

  to carefully unbuild this tower

That is the prison of my life

~RememberThoseDreams

btw readers, if you can come up with a better title for this one I'm open to suggestions because I'm really stuck lol