Hands (SuperBat)

9 Bitter

A few days later, Bruce came home from patrolling as Batman to hearing the familiar sound in Kal's bedroom. Bruce quickly opened the door and ran in. He climbed to Kal's side on the bed.

Kal was clearly having a nightmare. He was breathing heavily with a few whimpers leaving his clenched teeth. Tears and dries tear stained his face. He clenched at his blanket tightly.

"Kal!" Bruce called as he shook Kal's shoulder. "Wake up. Come on!"

Kal's eyes sprung open as he gasped heavily. He quickly grabbed Bruce's arms as he trembled. He tried to catch his breath.

"That's right. Breath," Bruce soothed. He tried to slow his own breathing for Kal to follow.

After a few seconds, Kal grimaced.

"What?" He asked, concerned.

"C-can you let go?"

Bruce noticed that his hand was still on Kal's shoulder. He pulled his hand from him. "Sorry."

Kal sat up. He bit his lip. He pulled the blanket off of himself. His shirt clung to him from the sweat. He grimaced as he pulled his knees to his chest.

Bruce couldn't help but hear a shuffling of what he possibly thought was indeed a diaper.

"Are you okay?"

Kal shook his head no. He closed his eyes tightly and swallowed the lump on his throat. "Alone," he struggled to say. "I need to be alone."

"Okay," Bruce said. He got up and began walking out.

Before he left the room, Kal said, "Just give me an hour." His face was red as he looked down embarrassed.

"That's fine," Bruce said. "Want to have breakfast together?"

Kal nodded yes.

"Okay," he said.

Bruce walked out of the room and closed the door behind him. He rather make sure Kal was comfortable rather than tear him down with questions and theories. He already knew mostly what happened based on the evidence alone.

An annoyed sigh came from the bedroom. The bed creaked as Kal was most likely getting up from bed. There was a ruffle of fabric and papery fabric.

Bruce walked away to leave him to his devices.

When an hour went by, he found Kal in the sitting area. He brought their breakfast there. He sat across from Kal as usual.

Kal was in different clothes. As he shifted, there was no rustle of papery fabric. He was back to the regular ole briefs.

The two of them ate silently.

Kal was surprisingly the one to break the silence. "I spoke to Alfred." To him, he was confessing something he kept to himself for a while.

"I know."

"You know?"

"Yes."

Kal hesitated, "Do... Do you know why?"

"Yes," Bruce answered.

Kal looked away embarrassed. "How long?"

"Since the third time," he answered. "I was just waiting until you were ready. I didn't want to pry." He continued to eat nonchalantly.

"Oh... Thanks," he replied.

Bruce wanted to ask questions on if this has happened in the past. He also wanted to ask if something triggered it. He had so many questions, but he contained himself. He simply said, "If you want any help with anything, it's okay."

Kal nodded.

Bruce asked, "Would you like to see anyone? Even let Damian see you?" He was wondering if Kal would like to socialize in the near future. Maybe that would be nice.

He thought for a second. He shrugged.

"Are you still nervous?"

Kal scoffed, "I wear a diaper to bed. Why would I?"

"He doesn't have to know. It's your privacy," he said. "No need to be nervous."

"I still don't feel... Good enough."

"Good enough?"

Kal sighed, "I feel less than. I feel lowest of the low. I don't want anyone to see me." His eyes stared at his half-eatened food.

Bruce reasoned, "Just because you feel that way, doesn't mean you are." He waited for a response but got none. He knew that this talk was more than just some diaper talk. It was about how he felt about himself in general. "Kal, look at me."

Kal looked up at him.

"What I see is a man that has been through many hardships and survived." Bruce continued. "You are stronger than I could ever be, Kal."

Kal looked back down.

"Kal, you are the same strong man that I fell in love with. There is no way they will see you as what you think you are." Bruce waited for a response.

"Love just clouds your judgement," Kal replied flatly.

"Then prove it," Bruce challenged.

"What?"

"I said prove it," he repeated.

Kal stared at him unable to figure out how to respond. After a few seconds, he asked, "So what's your point?"

"My point is that you are the same capable man as before. You shouldn't be ashamed to go out and be seen by others. Stand tall like you have always done."

"And look where that got me," Kal muttered.

"You had this notion of 'Truth, Justice, and the American Way.'" Bruce added.

"America is shit," Kal replied, bitter.

Bruce didn't expect that. He should've expected that after the way everyone turned on Superman after his identity was revealed.

"I'm done," Kal said placing his nearly empty plate on the table. He was bitter after the conversation. It was like that about anything having to do with his progress with healing. He stood up. "I'm fucking done with everything."

"Whoa, Clark-."

"I SAID CALL ME KAL!" Kal yelled.

Bruce didn't flinch. He said unbothered, "Sorry. My fault. Kal. Maybe I'm pushing you too fast, but you've been gone for 3 months. I just want you to get better. I don't want you to get worse."

"Why?" Kal yelled. "Why can't you just fucking leave me alone! Why can't I just be unimportant? I don't want to matter!"

Bruce stood up and said, "Well, that's too late, because you matter to me."

Kal bared his teeth and said, "Fuck you and your fucking feelings!"

Bruce didn't step back at Kal's attempt at anger. He said, "Is that really how you feel? Do you not want me to love you?"

A conflicted look came on Kal's face. He inhaled slightly at what he just said. "Wait... No."

Bruce continued, "I know that you are going through the motions, so I won't take your words at face value. I know you love me. Just know I always love you."

An ashamed look came on Kal's face. He said quietly, "Sorry."

"I know," he said. He opened his arms out towards Kal. "It's okay."

Kal went around the table and laid his head on his shoulder. "I don't know what... I didn't mean it."

"I know," Bruce said. "I know." He wrapped his arms around his waist. "But don't worry, we can take all the time you need."

Kal eventually pulled back from the embrace. He sighed, "Once again, I'm sorry." To show that he was telling the truth, he looked him dead in the eyes.

"Even Superman gets angry," Bruce said with a smirk.

Kal scoffed, annoyed at calling him Superman.

"Sorry, I'll back off on that."

"You better."