my heart beats for you(complete ✅)

five

nora's pov:

i can't do this i can't do this i can't do this.

we aren't married. it's so wrong, whatever's happening.

i have to suppress myself and my desires.

i can't continue this sin any further.

i can't be disloyal and unfaithful to my future husband by loving another man now.

rayan is not my husband. i am not his wife. we are not married. and this is a sin.

i am gonna stay away from him because i already feel very very guilty for everything that has happened and how i lose control over myself when he's near me.

i can't let him come near me again or i will be weak again and this will never end.

i will not go to meet him on the terrace or the storeroom or anywhere. i will not reply to his texts.

i am gonna pray regularly and study well. i am a good girl. no kink intended.

2 days passed. i have 207 unread messages from him. i know it's wrong to ghost him like this but doing all these without marriage is wrong too. it's not decent and respectful traditionally.

i don't go to university on saturday because rayan might visit our class for the charity event and i just can't see him or i will go weak and pathetic all over again.

i am still sitting beside the cute sweet girl, i didn't bother to have another conversation with her and neither did she. life is good.

but i need someone. i really wanted to make a friend but i have terrible trust issues and i am just scared and afraid.

i don't remember if i had friends before the accident because of the memory loss but i guess, based on my personality, i was and will always be alone.

let me try talking to the cute girl. she's just too cute to not talk to.

"hey, what's your name?" i ask her after gathering the courage for 2 good hours.

"ummm i am ruhi. what's your name?" she asks me. her voice is so cute.

"i am nora" i said.

she smiled to me.

"you know you're very very cute" i said.

ok maybe i creeped her out and acted weird. no ruhi i am sorry i am perfectly straight i swear.

she giggled.

"you are much much much much more cuter nora" she said and she hugged me.

that was the first time i hugged someone.

atleast that's what i remember. after the memory loss.

tears start falling down my cheeks and it's actually great and a wonderful feeling to feel another human's warmth.

i am having an emotional breakdown rn.

"are you okay? i am so sorry" she said worryingly.

"no no no yes i am book" i said.

what.

that's just the 0.1% of my anxiety to be honest.

i weirded everything out i am soooo stupid i just ruined my first impression on such a cute girl ok her name is ruhi.

i acted weird for the next whole day because of my embarassment and after like 3 days, we had small conversations. very small. and very professional. i think she understood that i was embarassed and she tried to not embarass me further in a way.