my heart beats for you(complete ✅)

eight

he's gone.

i've been surviving.

they say, humans have survival instincts that keep them moving. i don't know where's mine.

it's been weeks since rayan left. and i have grown closer to ruhi.

2 weeks ago:

"ruhi please please please please please let me use your phone to text him for once ruhi please please please please please please" i begged her.

"but he's told me strictly to not do it-" she said helplessly.

"please ruhi please i will die if i don't talk to him please please" i begged again.

she agreed.

i took her phone and texted "hi" to rayan.

he said "hey" .

i felt like a thirsty person wandering in the desert since months finally getting a sip of water.

"how are you?" i texted.

"nora?" he asked.

wtf. how does he knows.

"so ruhi, you never ask your brother how's he doing?" i asked ruhi.

"i do lol, he just sensed it maybe, yeah creepy" she said while sipping water.

"no i am ruhi" i texted him.

"i know who you are" he texted.

ok fuk me then?

no jk.

"i am ruhi" i texted again.

"please nora, we've got to stay away from eachother. it's necessary. please try to understand. " he texted.

"but i miss you" i texted.

"well, i terribly miss you too. but there are certain sacrifices which are needed to be made in life for certain rewards, in this case, your stable health is my reward. i love you. " he texted.

anddd i am blocked. i mean, ruhi is blocked. whatever.

present day:

rayan didn't unblock ruhi yet. and i feel terrible for everything.

i don't understand why did i slip into coma, and how's it because of rayan.

i remember telling him about the boy i used to see in my dreams whose eyes were similar to his.

but after i met rayan and after my first kiss with rayan, i never dreamed about old dream boy again.

look at my loyalty bro.

i miss rayan so fkn much. i see him in my dreams everyday.

i terribly want to see him and to touch him and to talk to him.

i am ready to give up all my limbs rn just to hear his voice once.

studying has been my only distraction ever since he left me. it's been more than a month.

as if i don't randomly get flashbacks of him kissing me but ok.

he's the sweetest, coolest, yet the hottest boy i have ever seen.

rayan, please come back soon, i don't think i can wait anymore, i fall asleep hugging the water bottle which he gifted me.

"good morning noraaaa" mubi shouted.

why is she so loud in the mornings i hate it here.

"since i have been seeing you depressed since a month, i have finally decided to take the risk of giving you my phone to call rayan" she said.

i felt like confetti falling on me.

why didn't i think of this. i am sooo dumb.

i jump from my bed and go near her and kiss her forehead, not gonna lie, never done it before.

"yeah this is the number" i tell mubi while i am out of breath on this sunday morning.

she rings the number.

"the number you're trying to reach does not exist"

he changed the number.

he actually just faded out of my life graciously as he said. he's not gonna be convinced.

another month passed by. and then another one. i am pretty much a dead body rn without him.

"you haven't ate since months, please eat" ruhi says.

"no i am not hungry, and i need to finish this subject" i tell her while studying.

if rayan asked me to study well, i fkn will study well and top this semester.

"you've lost 30 pounds, it's unhealthy" ruhi started lecturing me.

god i think i was better off without friends.

no i love her.

"i miss your brother okay" i tell her.

"i know" she says while she hugs me.

fast forward to 3 more months, exam time.

and it's me not sleeping during nights just to study.

and my first year is done. i topped it.

suddenly someone who found studies boring became someone who just studies.

my friendship with ruhi grew stronger and stronger and now i could officially say, she's my bestfriend.

malik just existed around me, i don't care about him to be honest after he confessed his love to me. creepy boy.

the only boy i will ever feel love for is rayan.

fast-forward<<<<

i am now at the end of second year.

it's been two years.

a lot of things changed, except my love for rayan.

his memories are still fresh in my head and heart as if it was yesterday i got kicked out of class for day-fantasizing about him.

and now, i get appreciated in the classes for studying well.

i still miss him so much, i have lost a lot lot of weight and my weight is normal now. i was overweight before.

my eyes are surrounded by dark circles and puffiness, now i don't know if it's because of studying or because of crying myself to sleep everyday remembering him while terribly missing him.

i sometimes go to the terrace and sit.

it's a nice feeling.

mubi is rarely around, she lives in the hostel and we just text eachother.

my parents are worried about my health. they think my brain condition is making me depressed, but it's actually just the seperation from my beloved.

i don't know how to cope up. or, how to even live a life like this.

but i am hopeful.

hope is the most addictive drug and it kills us all.

.