Dance of Shadows / Azriel x Oc

Chapter Five

"You truly believe you will ever be good like them?"

I nearly screamed as I heard the voice, sitting up from my bed so quickly that stars clouded my vision. Except I was no longer in the warm bed I had fallen asleep in. Instead, I was on the cold floor of my cell in the Prison, my chains rattling as I moved. Looking down at me were the cruel violet eyes that haunted me every second of every day, the cold smirk that mocked me. 

This couldn't be happening. My father was dead. He had died five years ago, and I had been freed from the Prison. I was safe now, with Rhysand and Mor and-

"Of course none of it was real. Who would ever save you?" My father taunted, a low chuckle in his voice. Had it all been a dream? Was I insane? What the hell was happening? I couldn't think, couldn't breathe. 

My father laughed, the sound dark and wicked. "Oh, you poor child. When will you understand? No one will ever love you."

"Stop it." I hissed, though his words started echoing around me, like there were hundreds of him, screaming the same words at me. 

No one will ever love you  no one will ever love you no one will ever love you no one will ever-

"Stop!" I screamed, but no sound came out. I was drowning, my fathers screaming so loud and filled with mocking and hatred and truth that I could do nothing but bury my face in my knees and scream, and I wanted to die, I wanted to be anywhere else but here-

I shot up in bed, sweat trickling down my forehead, my entire body trembling. I could feel my power stirring restlessly under my skin, could feel how my eyes glowed a deep purple. I squeezed them shut, urging my power down, urging myself to calm down. I opened them again, taking in my surroundings.

I was in the room I had been staying in for the past weeks at the House of Wind. I had been sitting at dinner a few ours ago with Rhysand, Mor, Cassian, Amren and Azriel. It had truly been real. 

I took several deep breaths, but it wasn't enough to calm my shaking body. I stood from my bed, making my way to the bathroom. I looked at my feet as I did, knowing that if I looked in the mirror, if I saw my father as I stared into my own face, I would lose the grasp I had on myself. 

I splashed water on my face, the coldness soothing my too hot skin. I sighed, sinking to the marble floor. I knew I would not be able to sleep, not when the only thing I saw when I closed my eyes was the look in my fathers eyes. I could read, but I recalled forgetting my book by the fireplace earlier today. I stood, rubbing the exhaustion out of my eyes as I walked to the door of my room.

...

Azriel was trying desperately to ignore the terror that he felt down the connection. It had started about ten minutes ago, so intense that his hands had begun to tremble slightly. He knew she must be dreaming. 

It had taken everything in him not to go to her room and wake her up, to hold her in his arms and comfort her. Everything in him was screaming at him to do so, but Azriel knew that he was probably the las person she wanted to see, especially after the events of earlier today.

Azriel sighed, focusing his gaze on the crackling fireplace. He knew that it was his own fault that she hated him, maybe even feared him, and he despised himself for it. He despised himself for being too much of a coward to admit to anyone what had happened, despised himself for letting his anger get the best of him. He despised himself for not helping her now, when he knew she needed someone. 

She's coming, a shadow whispered in his ear. Surely enough, Azriel heard her light footsteps coming closer to him, smelled her scent as she neared, felt the intense sensation he always felt around her.