This Love, This Hate (A Lesbian Romance)

TLTH Chapter Thirty-Three

This Love, This Hate

Chapter Thirty-Three

                "I'm going to go help Jesse—remember what I said." Missy excused herself, hugging Raine before beginning to make her way back into the house.

                "Am I going to have to hobble up there?" Zoe asked.

                "I'm not going to do that to you." Raine denied, staying rooted where she was, legs over the rocky side of the waterfall.

                "I was an asshole yesterday, I'm sorry." Zoe apologized, wobbling closer to the pool.

                "You can say 'sorry' all you want, but at some point you have to stop shutting me out." Raine clipped, spinning around and heading down the stone steps as Zoe stood watching her come to meet her where she was. When Raine finally stood before her, both were fiercely resisting the urge to collide into one another. "Zoe, you have to stop shoving me out when I'm trying desperately to make my way in. I'm so fragile and vulnerable right now and I'm letting you in as best as I can, I'm trying to open myself up to you, offer over my heart despite what anyone...even my own mind is telling me to do and I don't...I don't know if I can keep doing that if I just get iron walls when I try to get to know your innermost parts."

                "I know, I'm sorry. I know it doesn't mean much but I'll show you if I have to apologize every day, if I have to make you every meal for the rest of your life and be on house arrest or on probation with you. It doesn't matter to me, I'll make this up to you and I'll do my best to be what you need because damn it, I want to be what you need. I want you, whatever we are." Zoe explained, staggering back a little when Raine gave into her fervent desires and clung to Zoe, holding up the two of then when she recalled Zoe's injury.

                "I'm so sorry about the accident. I'm sorry I did this to you, I just really wanted to impress your mom and Paul. I've never met anyone's parents, even Randall's. I wanted to be sure they saw me at my best and got to know me in the best light possible." Raine murmured.

                "Raine, even if you showed up in sweats and a t-shirt without a bra or any makeup on, they would love you because I love you." Zoe said without thinking. Raine stiffened slightly and pulled back to look into her eyes in shock and awe.

                "You what?" Raine peeped.

                "I..." Zoe trailed off, averting her gaze as her phone rang against her hip. Oh thank God. "Sorry. Hello?"

                Raine stepped back and swallowed hard, unsure what to say or think or do and watched as Zoe hobbled over to one of the patio tables and sat down, talking to Easton about something to do with Mal. Oh, right, Easton. Who even was he? Did he know about Raine? Would she need to worry about impressing him as well?

                "Hey, want to help me make a fruit salad?" Missy asked, opening the sliding door as she popped a strawberry into her mouth.

                "Yes!" Raine answered quickly, too quickly. Whatever.  She rushed over to Missy and quickly hugged her, murmuring in her ear as they embraced, "Zoe and I made nice but then she said she loved me. I don't know if she meant to but I like pulled back to look at her and ask about it and then Easton called her."

                "Holy shit!" Missy hissed, wrapping her arms tightly around Raine, "What are you going to do?"

                "What should I do? Pretend it never happened?" Raine questioned.

                "Okay world's longest huggers over there, I thought you were going to cut up this fruit." Jesse commented with a chuckle from the kitchen.

                "Do we tell him?" Missy murmured as they pulled apart and closed the back door.

                "No," Raine sighed, taking a steadying breath and heading into the kitchen with her.

                About an hour later, the four of them were eating breakfast together which turned out to be amazing, though Jesse claimed it wasn't nearly as good as his mother made it back home. Zoe was playing things off like nothing was wrong or monumental had been said outside and though it made Raine feel as if her heart had dropped into her stomach, she didn't blame her for the decision to try and pretend it never happens.

                "I can't wait for you two to meet Easton, you're going to love him." Zoe noted as they were finishing up.

                "I don't see what's so great about him other than his gigantic smile and baby face." Jesse commented bitterly as he stood and began clearing the island.

                "He's great, you just haven't given him a chance." Zoe urged without missing a beat though an awkward tension now filled the air around them.

                "Like Paul." Raine offered.

                "Okay you did not just say that." Zoe stated, turning to look at Raine with her jaw set in irritation.

                "I don't see how it's any different." Raine pointed out evenly.

                "Because my mother's romantic pursuits are absolute garbage, Raine!" Zoe snapped.

                "It sounds like he's different." Raine offered.

                "Well we've heard that one before." Zoe dismissed, standing to help Jesse.

                "Zoe, it's true." Raine pressed on gently despite the warning looks Jesse was sending her way.

                "You know what has happened to the ones we've given chances to? The shitty ones come onto us or hit us or both and the decent ones just disappoint us and offer up lame excuses when they leave. So don't even think you're on some higher ground over there, Raine. I have my reasons." Zoe snapped before sighing and taking a moment to calm down, "I'm sorry. These meds make me a bitch. Seriously Raine, it's not easy to give each one she says is different a chance because every time they've left anyway."

                "I'm trying to help." Raine pointed out softly.

                "I know." Zoe sighed.