This Love, This Hate (A Lesbian Romance)

TLTH Chapter Seventeen

This Love, This Hate

Chapter Seventeen

                “Zoe, what are we?” Raine asked hesitantly as they swung blissfully in the hammock.

                “What do you mean?” Zoe inquired, resting her chin atop Raine’s head.

                “Are we friends, are we more? What are we?” Raine clarified softly. She wasn’t going to say so, but she was afraid of Zoe’s answer…afraid that it wouldn’t be what she wanted. She had just left Randall, but Zoe had stepped in at just the right moment, despite how others would likely see it.

                “I don’t know.” Zoe answered honestly while she absentmindedly ran her fingers through Raine’s curls. “You have so much bigger things on your mind right now; I didn’t want to seem selfish by asking.”

                “I don’t either.” Raine confessed, feeling relief wash over her nonetheless. She leaned her head up to look into Zoe’s eyes and scooted further up on the hammock so their faces were level with each other’s, “But I want to…I want to be something.”

                “You’re sure?” Zoe whispered, searching her eyes. Zoe and her hadn’t exactly had an in depth conversation about it, but judging from her lack of sexual intimacy with girls, Zoe guessed she didn’t have romantic experience with them either. Despite Raine’s surety in her voice and actions as of late, Zoe still wasn’t sure she wasn’t just a rebound for her, a fallback, a body to love in the transitioning from Randall.

                Raine nodded slightly and inched nearer to Zoe, moving her eyes from Zoe’s to her thin, soft lips. She let Zoe close the space this time, her eyes fluttering shut at the tender collision. All of the things clouding both of their minds seem to fade away completely the more they got lost in each other’s touch. In that moment, it didn’t matter what they were, just that they were together. For once, nothing was in the way.

~

                “I don’t know if I can do this.” Missy said uncertainly as she and Malarie waited at the professional hair salon she often went to uptown.

                “You’re going to look great. I’m sure your natural hair is beautiful.” Malarie encouraged. They had conquered the quaint shops and streets of the town; the proof of how much they relished it was in the pudding---or, in this case, Malarie’s backseat and trunk full of everything they purchased. Afterwards, Malarie had insisted they continue the fun and five her a new, fresh look that better reflected who she was trying to transition into.

                “Beautiful isn’t exactly the word I would use for it.” Missy half-heartedly argued. She was never one to do something she didn’t want to do, and usually threw a fit or flat out refused. This was different, however…she wanted this. She just wasn’t sure about the aftermath of it all. Would it even be worth it?

                “Melissa?” A tall, fashionable stylist Missy had never had before called. Missy forced a smile her way and stood, second guessing herself yet again. She followed the stylist to a washing station and bit her lip as anxiety slowly began to overcome her.

                She leaned her head back and glanced at the ceiling as the stylist gingerly lifted her hair into the basin and began rinsing it with water, “What were you looking to get done today, Melissa?”

                “I’m going back to my natural hair,” Missy said, shivering at the odd sensation the unfamiliar words sent through her—she had always absolutely despised her natural hair, “It’s very curly, I wanted to relax the curls a little and get a cut that made it look…well, not like hell.”

                The stylist laughed a small, petite laugh in understanding and started massaging Missy’s scalp with the expensive salon shampoo, “I’ll work some magic for you.” Missy smiled and allowed her eyes to flutter shut as she conditioned her hair and then rinsed it out and patted it with a big red fluffy towel before having her walk over to her styling chair. “Ready?”

                “As I’ll ever be.” Missy replied nervously. What if after all of this trouble, it wasn’t what she wanted?

~

                “So, why you been shackin’ with us, Jesse?” Henry asked bluntly as the episode they were watching cut to a commercial.

                “I’m guessing you’d fancy the real reason?” Jesse surmised, rubbing the back of his neck anxiously. Henry nodded curiously and Jesse let out a hefty, calculating sigh, “How did your father treat you?”

                “Ah, that ol’ can of worms,” Henry chuckled, “My old man was a mean, hateful drunk. I got lucky though, I’m a happy one. I’m actually a better person drinking than I am without.” Jesse and he shared a laugh and he continued, “He would hit the drinks until and long after they made him hit us.”

                “Mine took it a lot further than just hitting.” Jesse filled in, “I live alone—I ran off when I could but he…he found my place the day I started crashing here.”

                “Do you got that place of yours in your name?” Henry challenged, letting out a low whistle when Jesse shook his head, “There’s no kickin’ his ass out of there then, eh?”

                “Not on my own.” Jesse denied glumly.

                “Then you stay here until your pops is gone. You hear me?” Henry instructed with what Jesse swore was a hint of worry in his eyes. Jesse nodded obediently and he tilted his beer towards him, “Thatta boy. You want me to go check there with ya?”

                “Right now?” Jesse inquired uncertainly.

                “No time like the present. Besides, I’m running outta beer and Jennifer isn’t going to be home for a while.” Henry reasoned.

                “Sure. I’ll go let Zoe and Raine know.” Jesse agreed, trying to play off how fearful he was of going. He went into the backyard and saw Raine and Zoe in the hammock talking softly to each other with their shirts from earlier off. God, the two of them were tiny. “Hey, I’m going to scope out my place again.”

                “Do you want me to come?” Zoe asked, gently moving Raine off of her so she could sit up and look into his eyes.

                “Henry’s going with me.” Jesse denied casually.

                “Henry?” Raine and Zoe repeated in incredulous unison.

                “Yeah, Henry. I’ll be back soon.” Jesse replied with a chuckle before walking around the house and getting into Henry’s truck with him.

                “Do you think that’s a good idea?” Raine asked Zoe after they watched Jesse disappear around the house.

                “He didn’t exactly ask for my opinion.” Zoe replied, laying back down and glaring up at the trees above them, “I don’t know. Henry gives me a really weird feeling whenever I’m around him. Maybe Jesse isn’t so uncertain.”

                “Or maybe it’s because he doesn’t see Jesse as a piece of meat.” Raine offered with a giggle. They heard a car pull into the driveway and looked at each other, “Do you think they forgot something?”

                “That didn’t sound like Henry’s truck.” Zoe denied, getting out of the hammock with Raine as her heart began racing.