chapter XV: I LOST THE MEANING IN LIFE AGAIN..OOPS

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"mmm, nice. You still haven't finished yours?" Shay started at me weirdly.

"I'm just enjoying the taste."
"Pft, you're saying that as if it's your last ice cream,"
"Yeah, yeah, it's just that my pistachio ice cream is really good, unlike your sickingly sweet chocolate one."
She dramatically put her hand on her chest and loudly gasped.
"How dare you? It's not that sweet!"
"Mhm, sure. Anyways, how long did you study to become a nurse?"
I was curious about that. I thought it took a really long time, but Shay looks young..
She seemed surprised by the sudden question.
"Uhm, 6 years i think?"
"Don't you remember?  Are you getting old??"
"Hey!  I'm only twenty two, I have my whole life ahead of me! I'm older than you by only three years."
"Whatever,"
I rolled my eyes. She's so easy to annoy, hehe..
"What about you? You should be in college, right? What profession are you studying for? Wait no! Let me guess!"
Shay took a moment, eyeing me.

"hm.. a computer programmer? Or..a advocate?"

Pffft, a programmer? My PC skills end on downloading games from the first link with a big 'download' button.. An advocate? I think I'd make a lousy advocate. Considering that I can’t even defend myself. My search history also shows that I don’t know the law very well..

"Nah, I'm not really studying at all.."
"Oh..why not?  You don't want to?"
"That's not it.. I actually used to go to college, I was studying to become an accountant. But I guess my nerves couldn't handle it.. besides, even now, I'm not sure if I'll have time because my job."
"Well, are you happy with your job at least?"
I looked at Shay dead in the eyes.
"No."
She nervously chuckled, and started her life lecture.
"I think you should be doing something you enjoy, after all, if you waste your time on things you find unpleasant, you'll live your life in vain. Don't you think?"
"I guess.."
Ah, so touching..I feel like I'm gonna cry.

"By the way, uhh, I don't think I'll be able to live with the fact that you wasted your money on me..I don't like being in debt. Aghh, you get me."

What am I saying?? Someone please shut me up. I feel like a stupid teenager, trying to find a pickup line.

Shay giggled at my awkwardness. Her laugh brought a smile to my pinkish face.
"Go on.."
"Haha.. so, I was wondering.. would you maybe want to go to a café someday..? Y'know, so I could pay.."
"If you think about it, this cycle could go on endlessly with all this 'I'll pay' and 'debt' crap. I'm fine with it though, I really liked today." She smiled and looked down. "But I have a pretty busy schedule this week, so much work, it's honestly overwhelming. Nonetheless, I'll try to find some time. I'll message you when I can, okay?"
I couldn't hide my disappointment. My grin morphed into a small pout.
It's a strange feeling, not just sadness, but also..  agh, I don’t know. I mean, she didn't really refuse, she even said she liked spending time with me! Or well, today at least..
it's probably because of the uncertainty in her voice. 'I'll try..'
I've been overthinking about everything lately, and Shay is not an exclusion.

Unlocking the apartment door, I was met with silence. It's not even seven pm yet, mom and dad are still at work. Which means.. i get the whole apartment to myself!! Who ho!

I will ,however, do not what I want to do, but what I need to do.
I sat down on my bed, opening my laptop. I wanted to find out what all those codes ment and why I forgot everything. I needed to find out.

Time to get to work.

I'm not really sure if you could call it work, I just sorta copied and pasted all the codes into a translator.. yeah, I know, I'm so smart.

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