Letting You Go ...

😊 <>Kuea<> 😊 - 5

FUCK !!!!!
MY HEAD !!!!
I need to throw up 🤢 ...
Ugh !!! 😑
But I Don't wanna get up!

The air mattress is here.
That can only mean one thing.
P'Leo and P'Jay spent the night.
The Phis must be colossally pissed at me!
I reneged on the promise I made after the last time I got myself black out drunk...

Laying back down I close my eyes and take deep breaths to stave off the nausea.

I hear the black out curtains slide down which means someone has come in but I don't have the energy or inclination to open my eyes.

"Good! You're up." P'Jay's soft whisper informs me that I'm won't be facing a lecture but sympathetic pampering.

"I'm sorry." I whimper out, shame engulfing me.

I constantly take their kindness for granted.
They are my employer, I'm an employee, a friend, maybe; after a little over 8 months of association.
But, I'm an adult as well, who shouldn't need constant supervision from other adults.
I can't keep falling apart this way every time my jerk of a fiancé... EX-fiancé ... decides to act like a douche towards me; insulting me, making distasteful jokes about me being verbally and emotionally abusive towards me.

High time to wipe the slate clean.

Out of sight.
Out of mind.

"How about a nice cool glass of water and some aspirin?" P'Jay's whispered enquiry breaks into my reverie.

Cautiously I open my eyes, the dim lighting is a welcome relief.
My mouth feels like I ate cotton and my tongue feels like I spent the night licking sand paper.
Blergh ...

"Serves you right for going off the deep end yet again. I don't wanna rub it in your face that I warned you, you'll regret it ... but I told you so."

"Yes I am stupid ... but ... I have decided to improve. I am going to try to move on ... try to get over him."

Jay just stood staring at me.

I can understand his hesitance to believe me as this was the umpteenth time I had made this decision.

But there was a difference this time round. As I had already broken the engagement.

Only thing that remained was to inform Gran'da.
There would be a huge fallout, Of Course!
But I won't be backing down, come what may.

"I know you have self awareness that your behaviour is a detriment to you. But I can't say that I don't understand."
"Maybe ... I should fire you ..." P'Jay speaks at length breaking into my thoughts

He wants to fire me? Why?!

"Wait ... what?! Whatever damage I did at the club last night I promise I'll reimburse you ... just ... Please! Don't fire me."
"My music is all that's keeping me sane. Please don't take that away from me as well ..." I plead.

P'Jay sighed and stared back at me worrying his lower lip, as if he was getting his thoughts in order.

At length he spoke, "Kuea ... it isn't the damage as there isnt any. You are a sad drunk and horny drunk. Which is quiet embarrassing to be honest."

"Oh My God! That wasn't a dream then I actually tried to ... begged to kiss someone."

"You remember then?" Jay lips quirked as he obviously stifled a snicker.

"Don't remind me! I was actually begging someone to kiss me! Thankfully they rejected me." I wished I could disappear into thin air that second.

"As they should have." my boss nodded sagely.

"You should definitely fire me! I am a harassment suit waiting to happen."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves." he promptly countered.

"But if I am feeling up patrons and trying to kiss them. It won't be long before I go too far. Ending up in jail myself and taking your business down along with it."

"Honestly it wasn't a patron who you ..."

"Then it was someone who works at Gemini!"
I remember a suit jacket or some kind of coat it was one of the floor managers I had pawed at. That's even worse ..."

"The person you made a pass at completely understood and are very empathetic to your situation. There's absolutely nothing to worry about." Jay gently assured me and relief washed over me having considerate fans is helpful sometimes.
But I still can't have the person whoever they're make this as an anecdote they use in future. I definitely can't have this popping up sometime in the future to come bite me in the butt.
My anxiety peaked again.

"Who was it? I need to apologise pronto."

"They prefer not being named. Infact, they were the one to accompany you home, they were very insistent on making sure you were safe."

"Oh! That's very kind of them."
This is just perfect.
That seals it!
No more drinking in public again, ever!

"Up and At'Em!" P'Leo boomed, making my brain jangle and spin in my skull, as he sauntered in.

"Shhh ... keep it down !" his husband shushed him.

"He deserves it!" P'Leo spoke just as loudly again refusing to have some sympathy for my poor throbbing head.

"I can't take this anymore!"
"P'Leo not everyone is lucky to have their love requited the way you've had."
"For P'Jay you walk on water."

"The man I love thinks I resemble a dirty old haunted doll."

"I realise I am a burden, I also finally realised that waiting for Hia to ever reciprocate my feelings is akin to waiting for the Sahara desert to be flooded, which is utter stupidity."

"I promise that I will not be touching alcohol at Gemini any longer. With you being you I am sure you will make me stick to my word."

With the last bit of energy I had left in my body I stumbled out of bed proceeding to kneel before the ceramic god.

P'Jay following me in to help me clean up as he usually did the morning after one of my binges.

Why did I let Hia gain so much power over me? When I couldn't influence a single strand of hair on his head.
I feel like blaming my grandparents and my parents for encouraging me to follow Hia around, making me idolise him, making me believe he alone could give me my Happily Ever After which is just a pile of steaming HorseShit!

Tears sting my eyes both from violently vomiting and from the image of Hia calling me Annabelle. My weary brain decides to keep pulling up that sneering image of him. Painfully reminding me what he explicitly thought of me after being acquainted to me all my goddamn life!

My worshiped the ground he walked on, and he spat in my face every single chance that he got!

Hia ... No ... Not any longer!
Why the hell should respect him if he doesn't bother to respect me.
Henceforth, he will be nothing more than Lian to me both behind his back as well as to his face.
I'm the heir apparent to a multi billion empire and he's nothing more than grand da's steward's son.
Nothing more than a lowly stranger who will bow and kneel to me.
I will make him regret insulting me and making a joke of me in front of his employees.
Enough is Enough.

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Kuea has decided he will no longer Pine for Lian.
Do you think he'll succeed in getting over him?
On the other hand Lian has finally seen the light. Hence, will he regret his actions when Kuea breaks their engagement or will he take it in his stride?