The Reckless Ride to Buttlandia

I peed on the floor

Peppa's POV:
I peed on the floor. It really took a long time too; must be all the excitement. As I stood there peeing, I stood like a log. Arms down and blank staring at the stage where the majestic sac of green spandex glowed. I didn't even as so blink. Well... except for my one eye that would wink randomly. Made it look like an eye twitch issue, but trust me a lot more was twitching than that. As I finally finished peein, I came. Came to the realization that the onceler was still staring directly into me. I BOLTED. Ran like a fart in the wind: gone in an instant, but surely not forgotten. I shoved down the hoes in my tracks, nothing was going to stop me from my intense instincts. I was like a werewolf. "AHHHHROOOOO" I howled as I pushed them hoes down one by one. One hoe even slipped in my own pee. What can I say, I like to leave behind a memory for someone to cling to. And BOI was she clinging... she couldn't get up... poor thingy. OK SO BACK TO MEEEEEE i'm so graceful as i run in full speed. I bust through more doors, with only the strength of my bellybutton, but boy was she strong. BAM! BOOM! BADA BADA BANG!!!!! And finally, I made it. To a room that was unfamiliar, but smelled of someone oh so sexy and it really tickled my nose. I knew exactly whose dressing room this was. Oncey... I suddenly rolled around on the cheep carpet. Everything about this place gives me the goosey bumps I crave. The light burgundy paint on the walls with a few old earwax stains, the hot pink chair where onceler gently places his bum, the big headlights where the onceybae probably puts on his green sparkles and combs his "thiccer than yo ass'", hair, the huge wooden closet that has a picture of the onceler naked and covered in lettuce (instead of roses, that is) hanging on the doors. This closet is where Oncey has all his belongings hung..... Even a.. Th-on g? Oh.. OH-
Just as I was admiring the fleeting small piece of thin cloth, I hear ruckles and knuckles at the door. I fart so loud. It was so loud that my whole body shook, including the ground beneath me. Trying to look for an es scap A, I belly flop into the closet, leaving the room smelling like a tacobell bean and cheese burrito that was left in a car during 90 degree weather, it was BAD. Just then, a glowing presence enters.

A few minutes prior

Onceler POV:
I still sing while staring at Peppa, though my voice cracks really shines like a star. The saucy show must go on though! So i continue, dancing away while i listen and serenade the ladies... i mean they don't really act like ladies though... more like slu-  JUST THEN, got so distractled and saw Peppa run away! Leaving hoes and liquid everywhere. Shows over I thought.. Or is it? Oh I just couldn't resist singing my gorgeous, manly voice!! So I continued, for a whole nother hour.
After i finished singing, i opened my eyes, only to find that no one was there. Heheee hoo must've not been able to handle my intense, impassioned, but out of this rocker voice. The only person left was the janitor, cleaning up the remaining pee spots on the floor. He looks an awful lot like that cockie dude that the nasal looking Wenis guy knows.. What was his name? .. oh.. "Mr. Cookie...." i whisper in deep, musty western, and squinted sternly at him. *cricket noises*.
"Geez what's wrong with him? Kids these days are so mental", Mr. Cookie scoffs before finishing cleaning and walking away.
I still squinted though, and rambled in a language not known to man.
A few more hours go by and I decide to go strip my clothes off because that seemed like the best thing to do in this situation.
I enter the room and freeze. I smell bacon............. And a bean and cheese burrito? Sounds good to me! I waltz in that room and scan to find what i'm looking for, that is.. For Peppa... I found her. It didn't take long. I think it's cause I'm used to looking for stalkers or cameras in my room because I mean... who could resist? *smirks at literally no one*. Back to Peppa, I look and see her dead beat eyes peering out of the closet, looking directly at me. I wait patiently, like waiting for a stray puppy dog to approach a foreign, but good looking stranger. *combs hair with fingers and breathes softly*.

*Time Stamp: 3:30 to 5:00 on a Saturday.*

Peppa finally came out of the closet. I knew it was hard, but I am proud she finally took that big step. "What are you doing here peppa?" I profoundly ask my little bacon. "Well.... You see..." peppa starts, but had tears starting to swell up in her crusty eyes. I take a hard long glance at her eyes.... she's-she's got a BIG eye booger in the corner of her left eye... I can't help but want to gag *gags*. "WHAT ARE YOU GAGGING AT STUPID?!" Peppa slaps me cold. "My sweet pepparoni, don't be offened. But.  YOUR EYES ARE FULL OF CRUSTY MUSTY DUSTY BOOGERS"

36 minutes later

After peppa FINALLY dug those boogies out of her eyes, we could have a real mature conversation. "Did you come here to screw me?" I asked, trying to sound weirded out but I was secretly hoping she'd say yes. "Did i what? Well that wasn't the intention but I mean..." peppa sharted, it was so bitch it sprayed right on to oncey's lettuce wrapped bodywork image designer muah
I dropped dollar tree chapsticke . Slow motion. "Ahahah just kidding" peppa cackling. I think a part of me just died.
"I'm here on accident..." peppa sharted, sharting at my belly button "...sorry I'm just a sharty party! I'm infatuated by that belly button of yours" she reached to touch it. I swatted her hand away like a herd of huge flries. "NO. my belly button is a JEWEL. i got it from my local Burlington coat factory on Black Friday. It cost an arm and a leg... literally.... RIP cousin kipper." I said proudly. "Wow!" Peppa squealed with hearts in her eyes. "Anyway continue.. why are you here?" I asked with real seriousness.
"Well, Wenis and I got into a fight. A pretty bad one too. I had to get away. I ran. That's it. I just ran. Ran to who knows where. I had to scratch my butt so I found a sign on a shack that had some groovy music. I decided to go inside and I realized I was you! I-I mean it was you! So, as any civilized citizen would do, I peed on the floor!" Peppa sharted vulnerably.
"Wow, peppa..." I said grabbing her little piggy hands. "You would pee on the floor for m-me?"
"Oncey..." peppa sharted into my eyes.
"Every since the day I fell into thneedville, it's been you. But at the time you were with shaniqua and I couldn't ruin your happiness. So I decided to stick with Wenis, yeah he can pinch my Wenis right but he doesn't have half the hair you do and he cannot sing like the sparrows in the morning dew... Onceybae... oh how I love yo-" peppa confessed.
"Y-you love me?" I questioned in Indian.
"I-I I LOVE YOU ONCEY!! BE MINE, I WILL BE YOURS AND WE CAN FROLIC INTO THE SUNSET EVERYDAY. you can use your  amazing finger plucking skills to play me some songs and other things... it'll be like Wenis never existed. Just me and you wenis.... I-I mean Oncey, forever. Nobody has to know." Peppa belched.
"I-I don't know peppa...."
Peppa got big calipitter eyes on me.... Oh I can't resist. UGH.
"Peppa I can't think In this setting let's take a walk, let's chat then. I always do my best thinking and calculations when I can see the beetles mating in the trees?" I queefed.

LORASS POV
"I got the eye of the tiger Dancing through the fire
'Cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me roarrrrr!!!" I sing and twirl towards the bushes. Just then something green and sparkly catches my eye. I hide behind a tree. I squint and see a tall beanstock man and a short pig lady.... "Peppa and onceler holding hands?!?" I whisper yell to myself? I've gotta tell wenis! I run off like a hamburger in a dishwasher.