𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐘 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃

34. 𝗮𝗴𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗮 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗸𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗶𝗰𝗲

     BEING EXPRESSIVE HAS NEVER BEEN ESZTER'S FORTE. Well, if you count being angry all the time, then Eszter is a pro at that. She doesn't like to consult how she's feeling, to feel vulnerable, and to express herself in ways that make her uncomfortable. Eszter used to be that person, but things changed after growing up the way she did; okay, admittedly, Eszter has a short temper, but she's allowed to be mad.

     Even as a little girl, Eszter used to get mad at her brother and sister whenever they tried using the 'I'm-older-than-you' card, or they wouldn't let Eszter play in the park longer than she wanted. And sure, sometimes Eszter got annoyed with Pepper when the woman acted as if she were her mother, setting unrealistic rules and disciplining Eszter when unjustified (now that's a fetch). Not the mention, Eszter was always pissed whenever Ross came strolling into the city, suddenly needing the teen and her destructive powers whenever it deemed convenient for him.

     Nonetheless, Eszter doesn't know how to be anything but angry; she constantly argues with someone, gets annoyed way too quickly, and says things she probably shouldn't. But to admit that she's hurt by someone who's supposed to love and care about her? Yeah, no. Eszter felt so disconnected from her emotions, and talking to Wanda about it felt . . . weird. They used to talk about anything, and Eszter felt comfortable enough to admit her faults to her sister, but now, it was as if they were strangers. There's no way Eszter could go to Wanda and lay it all on the table, emotions and all.

     Eszter stood across Wanda in shock, stupefied as she racked her brain, trying to make up some ridiculous excuse, but came short. Eszter couldn't cover for Wanda because there wasn't any reason to. Eszter would like to think her sister had her reasonings for doing what she did, but she was more offended to care that she might've hurt Wanda's boys.

     It's always about everyone else, isn't it? It's never 'Eszter, are you okay?' or 'Do you wanna talk about it?'

     God, Eszter could laugh at herself if she wanted to. She sacrificed her insanity for these shitty people and gave two shits about her own feelings to be with Wanda--does it even count if Eszter found her under the worst circumstances? Well, it doesn't matter to people anyways, not like anyone else does.

     But Eszter didn't do anything; instead, the teen vanished within herself, disappearing from Wanda and the twins' eyes.

     Breathing out like she'd been holding her breath, Wanda turned to her boys, touching their faces. "You're okay," Wanda reassured, but that reassurance seemed more for her sake than the twins. She smiled shakily even though she could feel her lips tremble anxiously. "You're okay."

     "Mom, what was that?" Tommy wondered nervously, gripping Wanda's wrist.

     "Yeah, Mom," added Billy, pouting unsurely. "What did Auntie E do?"

     "Was she . . . was she trying to hurt us?"

     Rendered speechless, Wanda wasn't sure what to say at the moment; Wanda didn't know how to answer their questions. On one hand, Wanda doesn't want to believe Eszter would do anything to hurt Wanda--to hurt her family. But on the other hand, a small part of her couldn't help but wonder, did Eszter do it on purpose? It felt wrong to ponder, but damn, Wanda was terrified at the sight of her children in pain.

     Wanda saw the way Tommy and Billy's form peeled apart when Eszter altered the Hex, and it was like all Wanda could see was red. Any other mother would've reacted the same way had they been in her shoes, and as a mother, Wanda responded in terror. She did what she had to do to save her boys, even if that meant hurting her sister.

     Eszter was wrong for what she did. Wanda couldn't fathom the idea of losing her children, and Eszter would never understand what they meant to Wanda.