Missing in action

Chapter eight

2 months later

My bump had really started to show now and I had passed the first trimester the morning sickness had gone. I was still in the dark when it came to name ideas, for now we've been calling him mango. 

The nursery was finally done, painted with animals with white furniture and blue accents. Over the past two months I had ordered the rest of the bits in and had nothing else to get. Today I was heading out with Anna to a birthing class, Anna was my designated birthing partner and she was weirdly over excited.

"Here you go" Anna passed me a green smoothie in my travel cup, I lifted it to my nose and took a deep breath. We had been reading maternity books and she had taken full control of my diet saying I had to have folic acid or something. I took a swig and grimaced.

"It tastes like dirt" I say running my tongue over my teeth. 

"Good it means it's healthy" she replied obviously, picking up her keys.

"Why don't you have one too then?" I ask slipping my shoes on. 

"Because I didn't get up the duff and also I'm not stupid they're horrible, couldn't swallow it when I first made one" she laughs walking through the door. I don't want to pity myself but right now I sure as hell am.

"How is the little mango today" Anna asks as we start the journey to classes that were recommended by all the yummy mummy's on Annas instagram.

"Good yeah, I've started to feel little kicks I think" I look down to my bump and as if mango heard he started kicking. Or she, but I had a feeling that mango was a little boy. 

"He's going to be a spring chicken, I worked it out from the day you had sex he's due on the 21st of march" She turns up the heating in the car and looked over at me. 

"Thank god it's not on Christmas or something expensive" I shove my hands into bag and grab my lip balm out putting some on and offering some to Anna. 

"Yeah I hate having my birthday in November, I would much rather have it in summer so I could do something fun on my birthday like go to the beach and not stay inside looking at the horrible rain" Anna sighs brushing her hair behind her ear. I laugh at her comment, on her 20th it rained the whole week of her birthday and we ended up being stranded inside, at least on her 21st it was just cold. 

"You heard from them Evy?" my skin itches at her question. After I told my parents about the baby they shut me out and refuse to talk to me, Annas parents have been nothing but lovely, sending over gifts for the baby and offering to help whenever is needed. But I was hoping they would support me, no I've brought shame to them. 

"Nope, they've shut me out. Probably for the best or mango would grow up with issues too" my eyes gaze outside as Anna mutters an apology. 

"Maybe it's for the best" she says as she pulls Into the car park. We hop out of the car and head towards the door for our first birthing class. Looking around everyone has the baby fathers with them, all looking about as pregnant as I am. 

A middle aged women with dreadlocks running down her back invites us into a large room with rugs scattering the floor. We sit in a semi circle around the women who is the birthing coach. 

"Im anthropology, I'm your birthing coach and today I will be showing you how to have a successful birth without needing nasty drugs." She says. Oh god Annas brought me to a hippie no vaccine class. 

"Imma take whatever drugs they offer me, I ain't pushing a baby out sober" I whisper to Anna, she slaps her hand over her mouth to stop laughter coming out. 

"Isn't anthropology the study of old people?" Anna asked me quietly. 

"It's the study of cultures and that, maybe she studies everyones womb" I giggle, Anna grabs a yoga ball and sits on it bouncing like she needs a piss. 

The birthing coach starts demonstrating the best birthing positions that I'm sure I wouldn't be able to get into when in nine months pregnant. Anna looks over at me in shock when Anthropology starts mooing like a cow, explaining that being vocal works as a form of drugs. Im not sure that this is helping too much watching everyone demonstrate their best birthing sounds. 

"What kinds mother instagram page did you find this women on" I whisper to Anna as she's laying on her back on the yoga ball. 

"I can't even remember but I think she's batshit" she replies, at least one of us is enjoying ourselves. Im afraid she might steal that yoga ball. 

"Im going to show you a video of my own birth with my second child so you can really see and engage on these techniques I'm showing you" the coach turns on the projector and a massive picture comes up of a naked Anthropology sweating like a pig. 

"Fuck my eyes" Anna grumbles turning to look at me. My eyes were wide as she starts the video. The sounds of mooing blast through the speakers and I couldn't tear my eyes off of the screen. 

"Oh god, Anna look" I push her arm, if I have to watch it so does she. 

"And remember ladies it's totally normal to defecate when giving birth it means you're doing it correctly" Anthropology said pointing to the screen. I whip my head to look ay Anna. Her face was slightly pale and her jaw was slack. 

"Ive just watched a women shit herself on video" Anna mumbled, lifting her hand to cover her mouth. Laughter built in my stomach and I couldn't hold it in anymore. I laughed so loud, the sound echoed through the room and all eyes whipped to me. Anna sat beside me and joined in laughing. We were like two children who had done something bad, but I couldn't stop laughing. Anna fell off the yoga ball backwards with a big thump and we laughed even harder. 

We got a stern look from the birthing coach. She did not look very happy with her hands on her hips, just behind her on the projector I got a flash of her on all fours screaming like a banshee. I see the mooing didn't work. 

"Anna run" I say while laughing, stumbling over my feet. We grab our bags and burst out of the front doors still laughing to the point of crying. We ran to the car and jumped in, locking the doors swiftly behind us. 

"I might have to formally resign as your birthing coach if you're going to spend hours on all fours mooing at me" Anna cackled out starting the engine and pulling out into the road. Mango started kicking inside my belly in agreement. 

"We still getting lunch after seeing that horrifying video" I ask checking that my phone was still in my bag.

"If I didn't enjoy five guys burgers as much as I do I would say no, but they're too good to pass up" Anna says driving in the direction of one of our regular places we eat. I savour this moment, I find myself cherishing these times where Anna and I do little things that just make us laugh so much. I couldn't wait for my baby to have this wonderful person I call my best friend in their life, I wouldn't have chosen anyone else for my little mango.