The Weight of Dreams || Greta Van Fleet

Chapter 53: Fed to the Wolves

The room fell silent, aside from the deafening beating of my heart pounding in my ears. Sam held his stare on me, thinking. I could always tell when he was thinking, his eyes squinting a bit, biting down on his lip as he stressfully picked at his fingers.

"You don't love him." He finally said. My stomach dropped.
"Yes I do." I whispered, suddenly aware of the fact that he was just a few feet away, and this was not how I wanted him to hear it from me for the first time.

I wanted to tell him. I wanted nothing more than to be able to tell him, but.. I wanted it to be right. And.. special. And considering I was potentially days away from being proposed to, no moment felt like quite the right time to mention how badly I wanted him, and only him.

"You don't even know him." He whispered, his face getting angrier. I began to feel the anger start to build within me too, my cheeks now burning red. I hadn't known them long, I knew that, but I knew that what I did know, I loved so much. I knew that whatever I was feeling about him, there was no other way to explain it, other than the purest form of unadulterated love.

"Yes I do." I said. He rolled his eyes, crossing his arms as he leaned back against the doorway.
"What?" I snapped. He hesitated for a moment before looking back at me.
"You wouldn't have even given him a chance if it wasn't for me." He muttered, avoiding my eyes again. My heart sunk. I hated to say he was right, knowing how set I was on Sam from the moment we met, but.. that didn't matter now.

"Well, then I guess I should thank you." I sneered.
"Yeah. Well, then I guess you're welcome. Good night, Juliette." He sighed, pushing himself up from the wall.

"This isn't fair, you know." I said. He stopped, turning back to me.
"What isn't fair?" He asked, now getting closer.
"You can't put this whole thing on me. Clearly.. you have feelings for me if me being with him bothers you so much."
"Of course I have feelings for you!" He snapped. "This whole time, I just.."

I stared back up at him wide-eyed.
This whole time.

"Sam.."
"I just said that we should be friends because.. it seemed like you liked Jake. And I didn't want to get in the way of that, and I just thought.. it would be easier to leave it like that. But then that night.. you said all of those things to me, and.. I thought that, okay, maybe we could.. really talk about this. Because.. that's how I felt about you too. But then.. you woke up and you were mad at me and you said you didn't remember and-"
"Of course I remembered." I muttered, feeling my body get hot.

I couldn't look at him.

"Sam, I'm sorry, I.. I can't do this now." I said, pushing past him, making my way towards the bunks. I slowly slid open Jake's curtain, thankful to see him still fast asleep, his subtle breaths gently blowing the hair out of his face. I couldn't help but smile, kicking off my shoes before carefully climbing in as much as I could fit. I heard him groan as he scooted closer to the window.

He was right. It was cramped.
But even still, there was no where else I'd rather be.

As I wrapped my arms around him, I felt him shift again, letting out a deep sigh before turning back to look at me.
"Hey.." He whispered, his eyes still half closed.
"I'm sorry, go back to sleep." I said, nuzzling my face into his neck. My heart jumped at the sound of his tired laughter. He pushed himself up, carefully climbing over me, pushing me closer to the window.

"What are you doing?" I giggled to myself, feeling him wrap his arm around my stomach, pulling me up against him.
"I don't want you falling out of the bunk in the middle of the night." He sighed, cuddling closer, hiding his face in my hair.
"Thank you." I whispered. He nodded, letting out another deep sigh as I felt his body relax again. I then slipped my hand into his, intertwining our fingers, watching as the haze of the city lights flew by in a blurred stream of deep reds and blues, blending together to make the most beautiful lavender haze.