Us After The Fallout

Part 4

I woke up and could feel the warm sunlight bathing my face, but I kept my eyes closed wanting to bask in it a little longer. A minute went by and I finally registered something weighing me down and not allowing me to move. My eyes slowly flutter open from my grogginess and are met with golden waves; the tickle of warm air hitting my collarbone. 

Mia is sprawled on top of me, her head resting on my chest near my neck, legs entangled in mine, her hands clutching at my clothes. My arm is slung over her and resting on her lower back. It must have moved there in the night while we were sleeping. Her right hand is resting on my stomach, half over my shirt and half touching a bit of skin from my t-shirt sliding up in the night. Her legs straddled one of my legs, as one was resting between mine and the other off to the side of my leg. 

I could feel her breathing in and out, and having her body pressed against me was too risky. We came to an agreement on being friends and this is causing that to feel foggy. Re-focusing, I know I need to do everything to try and uphold that because I can't lose her. She's the only thing keeping me feeling grounded. Feeling as though I am starting to heal after the events a few months ago. 

I'm done denying it though: I have feelings for Mia. 

I don't know yet what these feelings are exactly, or to what extent. I do know that I am physically attracted to her, and right now especially, the sexual attraction I have for her is becoming an issue.

Trying not to wake her and make the situation awkward, I carefully start to untangle my arm and move my body out from under her. Almost as soon as I start trying Mia shifts in her sleep grabbing me and holding onto me tighter. 

For a second I think she is awake because she grumbles as she does so, but I don't have much time to dwell because her hand also shifts. Her hand glides down lower on my bare stomach just touching the top of my waistband. My stomach erupted in butterflies and flared with heat, with a familiar feeling creeping up even lower on my body. I felt tense, my heartbeat and breathing picking up uncontrollably. Mia was still out cold and slightly snoring now. I can't sit here any longer, my body feels as though it might combust at this point. 

Again I start to slide out from under Mia and even gently lift her hand off of my stomach, but just when I am close to making a break, Mia's arms stretch out and grab onto my sides tighter than before. She rolls slightly onto me and it feels as though she rests even more of her weight on me than before. This time however, her legs weigh me down as well. 

Pinned on my back, I can't move and internally I chuckle at the girl responsible for my immobility. She literally sleeps like a rock. 

I take a deep sigh, and Mia shifts again–and this time I physically have to bite my tongue from making a noise. 

She moves more to the side of my body and as she does so her knee moves up. I can feel her bare knee pressed against my clothed core and instantly I feel myself heat up and a throbbing to start. To make matters worse her hand shifts from my side to up and under my shirt gripping at my skin. 

My whole body feels as if it is being scorched by a flame. Her knee shifts once again, pressing and moving more pressure against my clit as I bite back my lip and a moan. 

Shit this needs to stop, I think as again I try and move her hand and shift away, but her arm tugs out of mine and slides up even farther. Her hand now rests on my ribcage with her finger tips grazing the bottom off my breast as her knee is pressed firmly against my shorts. I can't hold back the soft groan from my mouth and my breathing is shallow gasps. I can feel my wetness between my legs where her knee is and now I need to put an end to this right now, even if it means abruptly waking Mia. 

I lurch up and and slide back towards the headboard, causing her hand to fall across my waist resting there and me to be away from her legs. Mia groans and rolls away from me onto her back and her hand goes to her face as she starts to rub her eyes.

"What time is it?" she rasps out in her morning voice. Her voice is so damn sexy, I think to myself. The heat I hoped would be going away is sticking, and a deeper blush creeped on my face once again.

"I-it's 11:27am," I said choked out from my dry mouth. I'm surprised by the time when I grabbed my phone to check because I never sleep in. I don't sleep the best and even worse since the shooting. 

But I know the reason. 

I've slept good every time it's with Mia.

She rolls over on her side so she is facing me as she chuckles. "Can't believe it's almost the afternoon," she says smiling. 

Her hair is framed perfectly somehow around her face in golden waves, and the sunlight streaming in through the window is highlighting her bright eyes and the freckles along her nose. Her lips are slightly puffy from sleep, and her shirt is off her shoulder slightly showing the full extent of her neck and her pronounced yet delicate collarbones. 

We lock eyes and all I can do is stare. 

Mia is beyond beautiful – she's ethereal, a little explosion of hope in the dark and bleak world that we have now grown to know. 

I can't help but look down at her lips and back up, seeing her do the same. My heart is beating in my ears and the desire I had for her minutes before is back, simply to just pull her against me. Against my lips. I see her dart her eyes down to my lips once again and this time slowly sliding her eyes back up to mine under her hooded eyelashes. Suddenly our faces are moving towards each other, one of us or both I couldn't tell. I couldn't even tell someone what my name is as I see her eyes back on my lips and mine go to hers as I see them slightly part. I'm leaning down and she's leaning up and we are mere inches away when I finally snap out of it. 

This could complicate things, and it's already complicated enough. She's your best friend Vada, she'd never feel that way about you, all of a sudden goes through my mind as our lips are about to touch.

I jerk my head away, cringing at how fast I move and the ensuing awkwardness I know is going to happen now. "Um-," I'm trying to force words out as my mouth is dry once again, but this time from my regret and the lie I'm about to say. "I-I forgot I should really get going, my family is having an early dinner tonight and my mom said she needed help getting groceries so...I should go."

I jump out of her bed and scramble around to grab my shocks and shoes, wincing again from my scrapes as I'm slipping them on when she says, "Oh. Okay. Well, do you want to do something later tonight? We could go for a night swim?" sounding flustered from what just happened.

"Sorry, my moms been really helicopter-y recently and wanted me to stay home tonight, but I'll uh see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah...okay I'll see you tomorrow then," she says, her face confused about our almost kissing and I can tell she is suspicious and sensing something is up but lucky for me she is going to drop it for now.

I finished putting them on as I had to avoid the cuts on my palms and I stood up facing her awkwardly.

"Thanks again for this," I say as I hold my hands up, giving her a lopsided tightlipped smile.

She sits up in her bed and returns a soft smile, but I know she is upset because of me. I needed to avoid the kiss though no matter how much I wanted it. I can't get hurt by what might or might not come of it. The best thing I can do is get out of here fast so I can think clearly and get some distance from Mia. Hopefully then I can manage these new feelings I've come to realize I have for her, and in the long run it will be the best even though now she may not see that.

"Bye Vada"

"See ya," I say as I walk out of her door, out of her house, and into my thoughts as I start the long walk back home.