Play Pretend

Chapter 44

#OLAPlayPretend

Chapter 44
Elevator

Something changed.

It was obvious. I knew I wasn't just overthinking things. Pansin ko ang mga pagbabago at hindi ako tanga o nagbubulag-bulagan para hindi makita 'yon.

After coming home from visiting my stepfather, umalis si Xaiver para sabihing kikitain si Knoa. Nag-alala ako dahil baka talagang may naging problema sa trabaho o sa kung ano man ang pinagkakaabalahan nilang dalawa nitong mga nakaraang araw kaya hinayaan ko lang.

But even when we decided to go to work together, the weekday came with my driver back to work. Pati ang sasakyang gamit ko ay maayos na. Wala akong naabutang Xaiver sa bahay. He couldn't bring me with him. Hindi niya ako maisabay.

Xaiver was busier than ever. Maaga siyang pumapasok sa trabaho at gabing-gabi na nakakauwi. Most of the time, I would fall asleep without him beside me. Paggising sa umaga, wala na rin siya.

The only thing that kept me sane were his messages. Nagsasabi siya kapag maagang umalis at kapag late na uuwi. But I knew it wouldn't be long, and his messages wouldn't be able to satisfy my need for his love, his care, and his presence.

"Aalis ka?" tanong ko nang makita siyang nakaayos pagbaba.

The weekend came again. Nakasuot siya ng itim na pantalon at white polo shirt. Nakaayos din ang buhok at bagong ligo. He was about to finish his coffee nang naabutan ko siya.

Mabilis akong lumapit, afraid that he might leave soon. Nakahanda na ang umagahan sa nook. I wanted to eat breakfast with him. I wanted to spend time with him.

"Nakakain ka na?" muli akong nagtanong nang makarating sa tabi niya dahil hindi niya ako nasagot sa una.

I saw an empty, dirty plate in front of him. Hindi ko napigilan ang mapabuntonghininga dahil alam kong tapos na siya. Nahuli na ako kahit na ang aga-aga kong nagising. It was only seven in the morning, and he was already leaving.

"Yes. Magkikita kami ni Knoa," sabi niya sa isang seryosong tono. "We're gonna play golf and meet with our friends."

Ngumuso ako. "Ang aga naman... Sana ginising mo ako para sabay tayong nag-breakfast."

Xaiver blankly stared at me. Parang hindi niya na alam kung ano ang sasabihin sa akin. Tuwing ganoon ang ekspresyon na nakikita ko sa kanya, I would also be at a loss for words. Hindi ko na alam kung paano duduktungan ang sasabihin para makakuha ng sagot sa kanya.

"Maaga ang usapan namin. I didn't wanna wake you up," sabi niya kalaunan nang napansin ang nakakarinding katahimakan.

Tumango na lamang ako saka ibinaba ang tingin sa pagkaing nakahain. Ayaw kong mawalan ng gana sa harap ng pagkain pero hindi ko maiwasan. I was looking forward to the weekend. I thought I would be able to spend time with him, only to find out that he already had plans with other people.

"Let's have breakfast some other time."

Some other time... Hindi rin puwede bukas?

Muli akong tumango at nag-angat na muli ng tingin sa kanya. "Gabi ka ulit makakauwi?"

Xaiver's lips slightly parted as if he wasn't expecting me to lift my gaze at him at that exact moment. He immediately looked away and cleared his throat. Ibinaba niya ang hawak na tasa, hindi na inubos ang kape.

"Yes."

I nodded miserably. Bakit ganito?

"I have to go now. I'm gonna be late," sabi na lang niya at nagpaalam.