Play Pretend

Chapter 57

#OLAPlayPretend

Chapter 57
Food

Knoa's smile slowly vanished from his lips. His expression turned forlorn.

"I'm sorry for your loss..." He breathed heavily before he continued. "And on behalf of Xavi and our family, I'm sorry for everything."

I didn't know what to feel. As I tried to recall those distant memories of hardship and pain, I suddenly felt confused.

Hindi naging madali ang pagbubuntis ko kay Cami. I struggled a lot. My mother died, and I was living alone. I was lucky enough to have Macy's help every time she was free. But knowing Knoa knew all along, I kind of felt embarrassed and ashamed.

I was proud of myself for overcoming those challenges, pero ayaw kong malaman niya ang pinagdaanan ko at mas lalong ayaw kong makarating 'yon kay Xaiver.

I guess I didn't want them to pity me if their hearts were ever swayed by my sufferings. I didn't want them to change the way they thought of me just because of what I had been through. I also didn't want that to influence how they would accept my daughter into their family.

"Alam ba ni Xaiver?" nangangapa kong tanong.

Knoa shook his head. "He knew about your mother's death, pero gaya nga ng sabi ko kanina, I made sure he wouldn't hear about Cami," he said. "Naisip kong hindi magandang sa akin manggaling 'yon. I'm also not sure if you would want to tell him about her..."

My chest grew heavy. Huminga ako nang malalim upang gumaang kahit papaano ang pakiramdam. I didn't want to get too emotional. Kasama pa namin si Hari at hindi ko alam kung paano ko lulusutan kung sakaling makita niya akong umiiyak.

"Although Xavi's the father of your daughter, ikaw pa rin ang nagdala sa kanya. You're the one who gave birth to her and went through all that pain. You own the right to decide if he deserves to know her... or to meet her," he elaborated, then shifted in his seat. "Ayokong pangunahan ka. I'm sure hindi ka pa handa noon."

I honestly didn't expect Knoa to be this considerate. Akala ko, wala siyang pakialam sa mga ganitong bagay. I guess despite having an asshole reputation, he still has a kind heart.

"It was honestly hard for me not to tell him. There were a lot of times when I actually just wanted to drag him here, but given his condition after learning the truth about the case... I restrained myself and helped in any way that I could on his behalf that you wouldn't notice," he continued and inhaled a sharp breath. "He...."

Natigil si Knoa. His Adam's apple moved as he swallowed hard. The veins on the back of his hand showed when his grip on the wine glass tightened. Pakiramdam ko'y pwede niyang mabasag 'yon dahil lang sa paraan ng paghawak niya.

It was a rare sight for him to hesitate while speaking his mind. Madalas kasi ay hindi niya pinipigilan ang sarili at walang preno.

"Xavi made dangerous attempts to remember what happened during the accident..."

My eyes widened. Parang sandaling natigil ang mundo ko sa narinig. He made dangerous attempts? Dangerous attempts like what?

"He was frustrated that he couldn't remember anything. He was desperate for answers—for the truth..." he said, heaving a sigh. "He... He thought if he would try to reenact what happened that night or be in the same situation, he would remember. We had several trips to the hospital because of—"

"Reenact? Same s-situation? Ano... Ano'ng... g-ginawa niya?"

Nanlamig ako. I couldn't even speak. At anong several trips to the hospital?