Broken Pieces

CHAPTER {2}

AKARI

Death.

It's just a word you might think but it comes with so many feelings, emotions. Shock, denial, anger, sadness. Right now, I was feeling relief. I was free. Finally free. All that abuse has led to this moment.

I was feeling confusion. Why would she do what she did? What was she going through that made her want to kill herself?

I clutched the urn placed in my pale hands. I never thought this day would come. I was supposed to be crying, supposed to be sad, she was my mother after all. I couldn't bring myself to cry for her.

Even as she killed herself she still managed to hurt me. She broke me more than anyone ever had. I hate her. It was just me and Domenico. The nurse was preparing lunch for me so I could drink my afternoon pills. I stared at her engraved name on the urn. Elena Rojas.

So that was her name. I knew her as abuser, tormentor, torturer, baby murderer and many more where that came from.

Domenico came after I took my morning bath and pills and has been watching me stare at the urn for hours. He was on his laptop and took small glances my way.

I grew self-conscious and wrapped my hand around the back off my neck, trying to cover up my scars. I was going to be discharged today. The nurse walks in with a tray that consisted of chocolate pudding and apple juice. She does the same routine and sits on the bed. She removes the plastic around the spoon, opens the pudding and begins to feed me.

When she was done, she gave me my pills. My afternoon pills are less than the ones I take for the morning and evening. The pills consisted of two antibiotics.

I drank some of my apple juice to swallow the pills. The nurse walks out and the doctor walks in. Domenico closes his laptop and pays attention to the doctor. She tells him my recovery and some other things I wasn't listening to because I was drinking the last bits of apple juice.

He was nodding as he listened to the doctor and he was given a piece of paper. That's when i started listening, "She strong, in a few weeks she'll be as good as new" she ends the conversation.

Before we go, I had to bath. I felt like a burden. A task waiting to be fulfilled. I felt like I didn't matter to anyone. As if I'm always just an obligation. I wanted to self-harm. I picked at my skin, pulling at it hard leaving red spots.

~~~~~
"Since you're a legal adult, you get to have the choice of where you want to live. I can take you to Italy where my brothers and I live, or you can stay here and gain ownership of your mother's house."

"The choice is yours."

~~~~~

Cold water hit my scarred skin. My mind was going at a million miles per hour. In a few minutes I was going to have to tell Domenico my decision. One I haven't made.

I was juggling between going with a man who claims to be my brother, one who paid all my medical bills and one who is willing to take me to his home to live there. Or stay in a house where I was constantly abused and tortured.

You'd think it's an easy choice but it's not. I've spent my whole life in that house, not that I have a connection to it or anything it's just the only thing I know.

I know that you always have to clean under rug even though no sees it but my mother secretly checked everytime after I cleaned. I know that even though we have a dishwasher, I have to hand wash the dishes. I know where the spoons stay, the pots and cups.

Being in a new environment is hard for me. I have to start all over again and learn how to get my way around. I'll have to ask questions and burden everyone with my needs.