reticent

34

• AMALIA •

My dad walks into the house tentatively. His eyes roam around the space, and I watch for a flash of recognition but it doesn't come. He doesn't remember our house. These walls, which hold so many memories. So many moments of us as a family.

He doesn't remember any of them.

I frown as I wrap my arms around myself.

     "Come on, Enzo, let's get some food in you." My grandma says, taking his hand. His eyebrows knit together as he follows behind her. My grandparents are staying for a while to help take care of my father, as are my brothers. It's gonna be a full house.

"I'm gonna go to my room." I mumble. Maybe the fact I want to be alone is selfish. But every time my dad looks at me all that's there is wariness and confusion, and it makes me want to cry. I just need some time to truly process everything and maybe even a nap to refresh myself. I used Elijah as a pillow in the hospital, and the lights kept me waking up so it's safe to say I'm exhausted.

"Okay." Xander replies. He follows our father into the kitchen, and I rush up the stairs and to my room. I collapse onto my bed, then cry myself to sleep.

•

"Heidi?"

I peel my eyes open at the mention of my mothers name. My father is standing by the door, his shadow obstructing the light outside frame.

     "Is Heidi in here?" He asks.

     "What?" I question quietly, my eyes clouding with tears.

     "We're supposed to go to the shop. The twins want pop tarts for breakfast tomorrow."

     I furrow my eyebrows.

     "Amalia doesn't like them though. She's still teething, and they hurt her." He says. "She cries all the time because of it. Poor girl."

     "Dad." I say with a desperation in my voice. "I'm Amalia."

He ignores me. "Where's Heidi?"

A tear falls down my cheek. "She's gone, dad."

     "Gone where?" He asks me. When I don't answer, he says: "where's my wife?"

My grandma comes up beside him then. "Enzo, you need to go back to bed."

He scowls at her. "Where's Heidi?"

My grandfather is here now, too. "You need your rest, Lorenzo. Come on."

"No!" He shouts. "Where's my wife?"

I wince. "Dad.." I whisper, but no one hears me.

     "You're scaring your daughter, Lorenzo. Let's go back to your bedroom and we can talk about it, yeah?" My grandma offers.

     "I don't care! Where is Heidi?" He shouts. My grandfather successfully pulls him away from the door, but I can hear him shouting as he walks down the hallway, asking for my mother.

Grayson walks inside then. He closes the door behind him and doesn't say anything as he sits beside me on my bed, then lays down. His arms wrap around me and he pulls me to his chest, cuddling me. He plants a kiss in my hair as I hold onto him, hiding my face in his shoulder as tears run freely down my cheeks.

"He thinks m-mum is still a-alive." I sputter out.

"I know." He whispers. "It'll be okay."

"You d-don't know th—that, G-Gray."