reticent

epilogue

• AMALIA •
• THREE MONTHS LATER •

"That's disgusting." I scrunch my nose, looking away. "Who let you take food tech as an a-level?"

     Oliver rolls his eyes. "It's actually really nice." He says. "Try it."

     "Absolutely not." I reply.

     "Edie liked it." He says.

     I look at Edie. She shakes her head, but when her boyfriend turns to look at her she smiles. "Yep. It was amazing."

     "Do you want the rest of it?" Ollie asks her.

     "No, I think you should give some to your mum." She responds. "She'd love it."

Oliver smiles. "Okay."

"Bye, guys." I whisper.

"Bye!" Edie exclaims. "I'll see you at dance later."

I nod and smile, walking over to Cole's car. I go to open the door, but he drives a few inches. I try again, but he does the same thing. I roll my eyes, remembering when he did this on one of the first days on sixth form.

He rolls the window closest to me down. "Get in, then."

"Stop driving away then, you idiot." I say, successfully climbing in. He grins. "Stop doing that. It's so embarrassing."

     "Doing what?" He asks, feigning cluelessness.

     "I can't wait until I can drive." I mutter. "I don't have to put up with you anymore."

     He laughs and pulls out of the school, then starts driving us home. "How was school?" He asks me.

     I shrug. "Fine."

     "Have you been catching up with your schoolwork all right?" He questions.

     "Yeah."

     "Okay, good."

     "Since when do you care about how I do at school?" I ask suspiciously.

     "I want my baby sister to do well." He says. "Is that illegal?"

I roll my eyes. We listen to the music on the radio for the remainder of the drive home, and when we get there I rush toward the door, but he gets there before me. He's very fast, so you wouldn't think he'd just gotten a cast off his leg.

He turns around to look at me. I furrow my eyebrows. "Open the door."

"Ask nicely." He says.

"What?"

"You're always so demanding." He replies. "You should be respectful to me because I'm the one with the keys."

The door opens behind him, revealing my dad. He smiles, and I smile back as I push past Cole, who scowls, and wrap my arms around him in a hug. He hugs me back, planting a kiss in my hair.

"How was school, baby?"

"Fine."

"So he's allowed to ask but I'm not?" Cole asks.

"Hm?" My father hums.

"Shut up Cole." I mutter.

     "Ground her, dad. She's gotten so cheeky." Cole exclaims as he passes me, ruffling my hair. I slap his hand away. "See? I don't think this will ever heal."

     "Be quiet. I hardly touched you."

     "My bruise says otherwise."

     "You wouldn't have bruised that fast, you stupid idiot."

     "Stupid and idiot are the same thing." He says. "So you're the stupid idiot."

     I scowl.

     "Alright," my dad laughs, "I made some food, coke eat."

     I think my appetite is gone after looking at Oliver's food he made, but my dad seems happy so I follow him into the kitchen. I sit on one of the stools and let my bag fall onto the floor beside me.

"Your grandparents are coming for dinner later." He tells me.

I smile. They've been coming frequently, and seeing them so much makes me happy. I miss them when they aren't here.

"Okay." I say.

•

"Hi, baby." My grandad says when I walk downstairs, wrapping me in a side hug.

     "Hi." I reply quietly as my grandma hugs me too.

     "How's school going, honey?" My grandma asks.

     Why is everyone suddenly so concerned about that? Well, they have been since I went back after Christmas. I've had to work hard to catch up a lot, but since I don't do much I've had time to. I'm almost fully caught up with all my school and coursework. I missed my mocks, but it's only the real exam that matters to me.

     "Good." I say.

     I lead them into the kitchen, where I sit at my regular place, which is beside my dad who's at the head of the table.

     Everyone starts talking at once, but I don't really include myself in the conversations. I answer some more questions about school, but that's it. I don't mind, I like watching everyone feel comfortable and at ease with each other.

     It brings me back to when I first came here. We had dinner, and I felt so out of place, and like nobody wanted me here. But when I look at everyone I'm greeted with kind smiles. Except for Cole, who glares jokingly at me. I roll my eyes, however I'm unable to stop my lips from tilting upwards.

     If I told twelve year old me that I was happy in this house—that I was happy as a whole—she'd furrow her eyebrows and retreat back to her room, then make pot noodles with her kettle and isolate herself for the next few days.

     It's strange to think that I used to be like that. So full of innocence yet tentative to have hope for the future. I do now, though, because I know that just because I may not be perfectly okay now, that that doesn't mean I'll always be like this.

     I'll be okay. It'll just take time. Everything takes time. Nobody expects me to be okay within a few months, and neither do I. I realise now that I put so much pressure on myself to be perfect and act like everything was fine, when in reality it wasn't. But I'm slowly learning to talk about my feelings, thanks to my therapist, Allison, who isn't as bad as I thought she'd be. She's actually very nice and supportive, the complete opposite of what I expected. I expected a judge, entitled person sitting across from me who would try to give advice about a life they knew nothing about. But she doesn't do that. She helps.

     I'm brought out of my thoughts when Mason throws a piece of pasta at Xander.

     I laugh freely, without anyone discouraging it.

• THE END OF BOOK TWO •