reticent

52

• AMALIA •

When I walk back up to my room, everyone else is walking out of it. My dad has the ziplock back and a sad look on his face, and I quickly push past him to rush into my room, slamming the door shut behind me.

"Amalia—" I hear him shout just as I lock it.

"Fuck off!" I shout, my voice ringing out.

     He goes quiet for a moment, but then he says my name so softly it sounds like it'll break.

     I don't respond. The silence suffocates me, but then the sound of nothing is replaced by those of retreating footsteps.

     I rush over to my plant pots on the windowsill, then pull the plant out of it, finding another safety net of drugs beneath the soil. I let out a small sigh of relief, happy that they didn't find these ones.

I open the bag they're concealed in, grab a syringe out and immediately inject it into the crook of my arm. I pass out on my bed a minute later.

•

When I wake up, it's evening. I can hear the sound of people talking downstairs, the loud noises of their voices conjoining and bleeding through the floorboards, up into my room.

I check my phone, which lays on my bedside table. I have messages from my friends I haven't opened, all asking where I am, if I'm okay, why haven't I reached out to them.

I'll answer them soon enough.

I climb off the bed and, with my head filled with a small, satisfying buzz, leave my room and walk downstairs.

I find Petal in the hallway, drinking from her water bowl. I walk past her, into the kitchen.

My dad is sitting at the counter with his cousin, a smile on his face that widens—yet also saddens at the same time—when he sees me.

"Hi, baby." He says tentatively. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine." I respond, my voice void of emotion. Part of me wants to run into his arms, hold on and never let go. But the other part of me wants to shy away from him as he stands and walks around the counter. I find myself taking a small step back, and when he notices he frowns, but quickly covers it up with a grin.

"Dinner's almost ready." He tells me.

"Do you know if Archer came back?" I ask.

"He messaged to say he's gonna stay with his mum for the night." He explains.

I wring my hands. "Oh."

"Salvatore and I wanna show you and Silas something." He tells me.

Salvatore smiles and stands up from the stool. "I'll go get her." He says as he brims with something like excitement.

My dad nods his head to the door, and I sigh quietly before walking through it. He directs me toward his study, then tells me to sit down. I do, wrapping my arms around myself as a quiet calm settles over me.

     The aftermath of taking the drug is amazing—a feeling I think I'll forever long for. I sort of feel like I'm floating, but falling at the same time into a wonderful abyss full of calming thoughts and safe memories.

     A few moments later Silas walks in. I find my eyes narrowing into a glare, and she glares right back at me as she sits down. My dad sits in his chair, and Salvatore goes to his side.