Angel Scars

Chapter Ten

"Angel!" I heard my grandma's voice screeching in my ears. I groaned as a response.
"Hi! How are you?!" My grandma said.
"I just woke up. Give me a minute. Jesus." I replied.
I walked towards the refrigerator and grabbed the milk jug and chugged it straight out of the gallon.
"Angelica!" I heard my mom yell my name.
"What?!" I exclaimed.
"You're not supposed to do that, you know. We have company over." She came near me and slapped my arm.
"Ow! What the fuck?!" I yelled out.
I looked over at my grandma and realized that she looked shameful. I saw her eyes go towards my arms. I looked over at my mom and realized that she was also looking at my arms.
"Angelica..." My grandma said.
I put the milk carton back inside the fridge and sat down, ashamed at myself.
"I don't wanna talk about it." I said quietly.
Great. I ruined my grandparent's trip.
Both my grandma and mom sat down next to me, holding my arms, making them sting slightly. I winced.
Shortly after, my grandpa walked in, looking bewildered.
"What's going on?" My grandpa asked.
A moment of silence filled the room.
"Angel has been hurting herself...We just found out. Look." My mom said to him. She grabbed my arm, right on the cuts to make me wince in pain again.
"Angelica." My grandfather looked over my arm, and looked at me as he was interrogating me with his eyes. I quickly snatched my arm out of his grip and got teary eyed. Everyone who gripped my arm made it worse; made my arm throb.
"I just woke up. I don't need this shit, the interrogation, here."
I ran upstairs to my room, realizing I forgot my phone on my nightstand.
I texted Ryan.
""Hey...My grandparents are here. I might need your help.""
He texted back immediately.
""What's going on?""
""I'll have to explain later. Can you come by?""
""Yes. I'll be on my way.""
I sighed a breath of relief. I went back downstairs and still was confronted by my mom and grandparents.
"What's going on with you, Angelica?" My mom asked. I didn't reply. I sat down in the kitchen, back facing everyone in the room. I didn't feel like explaining myself at all. Especially right now.
"If you're not gonna explain, then we'll just move on, okay?" My mom asked.
I nodded.
As I was scrolling through my phone, I heard my mom and grandma talk about sleeping arrangements. I honestly forgot that my grandma and grandpa don't sleep together, which meant that someone had to sleep with me. Which meant Ryan couldn't come and stay the night for these next few days.
Well shit.
"You'll be sleeping with Angel and you dad can sleep in the guest room we have. It's nothing fancy, but it'll work." My mom said out loud.
I winced as she said this. No more freedom unless I stay the night with Ryan. I wonder how well that'll go.
I scoffed under my breath.
"Mom, I don't want that to happen, I'd like my own space." I got frustrated, the urge to cut washed over me. The voices.
"Well, honey. You don't have much of a choice unless you want your poor grandmother to sleep on the couch.." I could tell that my mother was getting just as frustrated or maybe even more about said situation as she said this.
"Whatever." I rolled my eyes in response.
Before I could do or say anything else, my phone buzzed, making a loud noise on the table. I flipped it back over and realized that Ryan had texted me that he was here. I got major butterflies in my stomach. It's been a few days since I've last seen him and I still don't know where we stand with our "relationship" or whatever you wanna call it.
"Ryan's hear, Mom."
"Whatever." She mumbled, not seeming to wanna cause another fight with me.
"Oh boy! I miss that gentleman. He's very kind." My grandma said. My grandpa agreed.
They've met him before; they knew his grandparents before they passed away. They were apparently friends or something in school back in the day.
I got up off my seat and walked towards the front door as I heard a slight knocking.
That was quick.
"Oh my god!" I breathed out. My anxiety got high when I saw the man in front of me; I get butterflies.
"What's going on?" Ryan asked, looking puzzled.
Instead of responding, I showed him my arm, looking down at the floor, defeated.
"Oh baby girl. How come I never noticed this? Is everything okay?" He looked sad as he said this. I shrugged my shoulders, pushing a piece of hair behind my ear.
"It's a lot. I'm going through shit that I don't feel comfortable talking about. You never noticed, I guess, because you were too involved while fucking me." I whispered the last part.
I wasn't trying to make him feel bad but I could tell that I already did the damage.
"I'm sorry. I - I just didn't think about it. You know that's not what I'm here for; just a one night stand. You should know this." Ryan took my hands into his own, caressing my hands in his.
"Angelica!" I heard my mom yell my name.
"We should go to the kitchen." I stepped away from the door to let him in and let go of his hands. He nodded in response.
"Oh hey, young man. Nice to see you again." My grandma and grandpa said at the same time.
"Hey guys, nice to see you guys as well." He replied. He smiled at them and nodded.
"I'm sorry, Angel, about not being with you for your baptism. We would've came, but your grandfather wasn't feeling well." My grandma said to break the awkward silence.
It was better than getting yelled at for cutting myself.
"It's okay." I said. I looked over at my grandpa, who was reading the newspaper he brought with him. He looked fine to me.
"Okay so considering the time, I'm going to make dinner. Anything you guys have in mind?" My mom asked.
"Your dad will be awake soon." She looked over at me. I nodded.
"Let's do tacos." My grandpa looked up from his newspaper.
As of on cue, I heard my dad walk into the kitchen.
"Good morning." My grandma said to him.
He shook his head as a response.
"I need to talk to you, privately." My mom walked towards my dad. They shooed all of us away from the kitchen.
"Good evening." Ryan said to my dad as he walked next to me and into the living room.
"If it's not that important, it can wait. I did just roll out of bed for Christ's Sake." My dad said. He's really not someone who likes to wake up, really at all. He'd rather sleep all day if he could.
"It's pertaining to our daughter." I heard mom whisper before I walked into the living room.
I eventually walked in with everyone else. Ryan and my grandparents were reminiscing about the good old times with his grandparents. Seeing him sitting there with my family was honestly such a joyful feeling. I hope this man knows how much I love him and how I'd do anything for him.
"We are NOT taking my daughter to a looney bin! Are you fucking crazy?!" I heard my dad through the kitchen.
"Yeah well she is the definition of crazy! What do you mean? She's being sinful. It's a disgrace to the family." My mom replied loudly.
I sighed. Sitting down, I buried my head into my hands. I then felt a warmth presence wash over me. I let my breathing calm down a little bit as I embraced this feeling before looking up to see Ryan holding me.
"It'll be okay." He whispered in my ear and kissed my forehead.
"Thank you for being here for me." I whispered back.
I removed my hands from my head and caressed his face, running my fingers through his majestic jet black hair and looking up into his beautiful hazel eyes.
Before I could do anything besides admire his beauty, the tension immediately broke as I heard someone clear their throat loudly for no reason. That was until I looked up from Ryan's face to see my grandparents awkwardly looking up from their seating position.
I followed their direction and saw my mom and dad looking towards me and Ryan; my dad was standing against the door frame in that typical "dad stance" while my mom was standing next to him with her arms crossed. I didn't like where this was going.
"Your mother wants you to go to the psych ward but I'm highly against it. You're still a minor considering the law, but it should be up to you more than any one of us combined." My dad broke the silence.
I looked over at Ryan as like I was asking for help but he just shrugged in response. It got silent again. I guess that's gonna be a recurring thing while my grandparents are here.
"Yes, I realize that I have a cutting problem, but I'm just not ready to get help yet. And like you said dad, it's up to me." I replied shakily.
"Whatever. You should really go as your being sinful." I heard my mom say again but this time to my face. I rolled my eyes as my response.
"I'm gonna finish dinner." She muttered.
Jesus Christ, I thought to myself.
I looked at Ryan, grabbing his hand in mine, squeezing it. He did the same right away, reassuring me.
I heard my dad sit down and turn the TV on. Chit chat from the television show he turned on filled the living room as no one said a word.
A few minutes later, my mom called out that dinner was done.
Eventually, we all shuffled our way towards the kitchen, made up our plates and ate dinner in silence. Ryan, who's usually chatty with my family, is quiet this time. But I know he came out here for me to support me throughout this catastrophic events.
Before I knew it, everyone is done eating and mom started doing the dishes and dad is back in the living room watching whatever the hell he was watching earlier.
My grandparents doing their own thing. Ryan and I decided to stay put at the dining room table and talk more about where we stand with our "relationship."
"I hate to ask, but like from earlier you said that you're not here for a one night stand. If that's the case, what exactly are you here for? What's your intentions with me?" I asked.
Ryan looked up at me with his beautiful eyes once again. I heart skipped a beat in that instance as he spoke.
"Honestly, I'm not entirely sure but I do know this." He took my hands and held them.
"I know that I have feelings for you and want to be with you. I've never told you this, but I've always had a crush on you. I've always thought you were gorgeous. Even when we were kids. I know that sounds morbid considering our age gap, but it's true." He looked away. He's right. He's three, almost four years older than me. I'm only seventeen and he's nearly turning twenty one in a few months.
For some reason, that made my stomach drop.
"Are you sure it's a good idea for us to be together considering the age gap?" I asked.
He sighed.
"I don't want to make it seem like I'm grooming you because I'm not. Your family loves me and I'm assuming your friend also likes me?" He asked back. Referring to Ashley, my best friend.
"I think she does. But that's a given on my family. They love you and they grew up with your grandparents."
"Good point." He  chuckled.
Before I knew it, my mom broke our conversation.
Oh my god.
She must've heard everything. Unless we were quiet.
"I personally don't have an issue with it. Unless you hurt my daughter." She said, pointing a soapy finger at us.
"My intentions are never to hurt Angelica." Ryan looked over at my mom.
"Good." She smiled at him. She walked out of the living room. But before she did that, she turned over at me and asked, "He's not spending the night again, is he?"
As if he, Ryan, wasn't already in the room, I replied.
"Yes I know, mom. He's not. I'd like him to, but whatever." I shrugged. Mom sighed in response.
"I think that's your cue to leave." I looked over at Ryan. He looked sad and defeated.
"Shhh. Maybe I'll sneak out." I whispered to him. I looked over my shoulder to make sure no one heard me.
Ryan stood up and pulled me in and embraced me in a huge hug. I sighed a breath of relief. I needed that. He smells so good, I could just soak it up.
Before I knew it, he already walked out the door. I wanted to cry but I did have an escape plan to get outta here so I don't have to sleep with my grandma.
We shall see.