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you stare down at your black Mary Jane shoes, your strawberry print white socks peaking through. you move your feet inwards and outwards as your dress moved with them, trying to distract yourself from what was occupying your mind, you look at the cue cards that sat next to you on the couch.
'Soul Train Awards' was written on the back of the cards. you were hosting the show tonight along side your boyfriend, your boyfriend who you haven't even caught a glimpse of in the past seventy two hours.
you tried forcing yourself to revise what was written on the cards but you had already memorised it, and no longer even wanted to see the cards. a knock the door slightly startled you and you sigh, you already knew it was your manager coming to lecture you about how you and Michael should limit your contact with each other to not raise suspicion around your 'friendship'.
"come in" you sigh, "Y/n?" a voice calls out and you stand up immediately, "Michael?" your voice trembles. Michael walks in closing the door behind him and you barely spared a second thought before running into his arms. the place you loved most, where you felt most safe. "I missed you so much" Michael whispered against your neck, "too much" he added.
being famous fucking sucks.
you and Michael were not allowed to publicly date, your families knew, your management knew, your entire inner circle knew, but your fans and the public didn't. at first the secrecy was thought to have been made as way to protect you and Michael's privacy, but you quickly realized it was to protect your public image.
you and Michael had always kept up this goody two shoes act since you were little children. the adorable, little, angelic kids who are now clearly young adults who are capable of keeping a public image, but you weren't allowed to show your love for each other until you were both eighteen.
"baby?" Michael looked down at you, "are you crying?" he softly asks and you pull away from him quickly wiping your tears so you makeup doesn't get ruined, "I don't think I can do this anymore" you mutter, Michael felt his heart break as you looked at the clock on the wall. one more hour until the show starts, "I know. It'll get better I promise" he says as he rubs your back.
"Michael, I don't think I can take another year of this" you say looking at him, "w-what?" he asks, his voice is so quite you almost didn't hear him. "those past three years have been great and everything but they've also been actual hell. we barely see each other anymore! I know we found a way around our schedules but it's still not enough and you know this" you sigh.
Michael's eyes welled with tears, he'd rather die than see you hurt. he looked into your eyes and he saw genuine heart break, Michael knew you loved him and he hated being the reason you're in pain. "what do you mean?" he asked, you wipe away a tear. "I love you Michael" you began, "but maybe I'm not the one for you."
a tear slipped down Michael's face. if he can go back to the day you asked him to be your boyfriend he would, just to the big smile you had on your face. everything seemed to pull you and him apart, maybe he's not the one you were meant to find. "Y/n dont say that" Michael cried.
you sat back down on the couch you were originally on and began staring at your shoes again, only now you were noticing that flowers Michael had in his hand. "what if it's for the best?" you ask, your nose was now pink. Michael looks at his feet, "but you're the only one that I want", the flowers fell to the floor. he wipes away his tears as walked and stood next to you.
"I want to be with you" you mutter, he kneels before you and places his hands on your knees, "I don't want anyone else but it's so hard" you take in a shaky breath. it's quite between you for maybe twenty minutes before Michael speaks.
"I told my mother about us" Michael says and you look at him and smile, "she already knows" you chuckle, "yes she knows we're dating, but I told her I want to marry you" Michael looks into your eyes as they widen. "she loves you like one of her daughters so she was obviously on the same boat, we'll get married in late December we both would've turned eighteen" he explains.
"what kind of proposal is this?" you half laugh half sigh taking his hands into yours, "one you won't say no to" Michael says as he leans up pulling you in a kiss. "I know it's hard, and I know the years have been long but you put up with me, you stayed for so long when you could've left." Michael intertwines your fingers, "I want you to marry me" Michael whisperers.
you look into his brown eyes, "are you serious?"
"yes" Michael smiles, "I want to spend there rest of my life with you." Michael picked up the flowers that had fallen down, and you stand up looking at the clock. twenty more minutes.
Michael was wearing a black suit and a white button up shirt, the flowers were the same shade of white as his shirt. he gently placed one behind your ear, "we have to go" you say tugging on his arm.
"Y/n?", you look at him, "we'll get through this, together" Michael says holding your hand and you nod.
as you walk around backstage to find your way to the curtains near the stage, Michael kept his arm around your shoulder and yours was on his back and once you were on stage you two smiled, like there's no love, no passion, no emotional connection that basically binds your souls. no one may know now, but as Michael looks at you, the impatience that came along with wanting to let everyone knows that you're his grew.
