✅ A Dose of Humiliation

87. Repentance

This chapter is dedicated to Jay. Thank you for your support!

Maybe sleeping pills did some good, because I wasn't tired when I woke in the morning, and I wasn't panicking. I wasn't feeling sick either; which had to be a consequence of stopping drinking earlier in the evening. I went downstairs for breakfast when Walt knocked on my door, but I didn't say much. Mum had put out a bagel and a bowl of muesli for me. It seemed like Mum and Dad were both skipping work today, probably because they were worried about what might happen to me. That sounded like they really cared, but it was still hard to believe it. I barely spoke as I ate, and then returned to my room to change my diaper and put on presentable clothes. I felt a little numb, like I had no emotions coming up to the big day. There was still likely to be something unexpected, but I felt I'd done everything I could.

I hadn't left everything to chance, though. I didn't want to be helpless in front of Becker. I had one precaution; a multi-tool with a belt clip, nestling in the small of my back where a loose cardigan would hide it but still allow access. The thing had been a birthday present from Walt a couple of years ago, and I thought he'd been hoping that he could keep it when I realised that I had no use for something like that. In the months after I first got it, it had been rare for me to use anything except the bottle opener; though I would occasionally use one of the little screwdrivers to pry out a piece of gravel that had gotten stuck in the bottom of my shoe, or to free up my locker door when it became stuck. Elspeth had probably used it more than I had, when she used to come to school on a bike that needed regular maintenance, but the little tool had never been passed on. I made a mental note to get Walt one of his own if it proved useful today.

I went down to the lounge, and found Mum and Dad already waiting for me. Walt was there too; he said "Good luck," and all I could do was force a smile. Somehow I wasn't scared now; I just didn't feel anything. Dad lifted out the plastic handcuffs again, and I obediently put my hands together behind my back. A deep breath, and I was walking to the car.

"Do you want us to come in with you?" Mum asked, as I climbed into the front of the car.

"I can do this," I said, pushing aside a moment of nerves. "Just... show me the card when he gives it to you, right? I want to know what's in the syringe. And it's not like I really have a choice. I don't want to make Walt late for school."

"Do you trust your father now?" Mum asked, and I looked up. He couldn't meet my eyes this time.

"I think so," I said. Because even after everything, he had only done what he thought was best for me. I couldn't really blame him for lashing out when everything fell apart. "I don't want to ask my friends, don't want a fuss like the other day. I'd rather... face this like an adult, I guess."

We barely spoke all the way to the Mercer Center. Mum and Walt were in the back of the car; they wanted to see that I was okay. But I was sure that once we got to the pharmacy, one of them would be taking him to school. We would be cutting it close already.

"Mister Peen," Becker said with a nod; coming up as soon as we stepped out of the car. His face was a little bruised; but I could see how much difference the best ointments had made. "I thought it would be better to speak on the way to the shop. I realise that Lorna will already be late for school, and would not like to exacerbate the problem."

"What do we need to talk about?" Mum growled; but Becker didn't answer until Dad repeated the question. The more I saw of him, the more I hated him. He kept on showing that he wasn't just out to hurt me because I'd hurt his son, but that he was a terrible person in general.

"Following the... events on our last visit, I will be exercising the option to apply a proportional punishment for the destruction of property. There is another student at her school whose dose will have to wait until next week because of those broken sample vials. In order to preserve my business, I will insist on the application of an intensity booster to the second dose; whichever it turns out to be. Now, I realise that you did your best to convince her to behave, so I won't be charging for this booster. But I must insist that it is appropriate. If I have to take her to court over this, I assure you the punishment would be worse."