Blue Eyed Dreamboat | R. Grayson

[21]

Richard was sitting outside the office in the spacious waiting area. It was his second session with Lauren Hoult, a licensed therapist recommended to him by Bruce.

Lauren was a distant family friend and she lived in Bludhaven however, used to come to Gotham every few months or so to visit her family. She was in Gotham when Bruce had contacted her to ask if she could give some time to Richard and she had agreed, scheduling their sessions to be held twice a month.

That day too he was there at the assigned time, feeling less nervous than he had been on his first time. Lauren was a very friendly person and she had kept the first session very casual, intending to get him comfortable with her so that it would be easier for him to open up.

He was called in so he left the magazine he had been flicking through and went to the office.

"Hello, Richard," she smiled as he opened the door to step in.

"Good day, Miss Hoult," he closed the door behind him and took the seat in front of her.

"So how have you been?" She asked noting that he did look a little less anxious than the first time he had come to see her.

"I'm good," he replied, "I've been keeping myself busy lately doing things I love... It helps."

She nodded, a soft smile creasing her features, "that's a good place to start from. What else have you been doing?"

He told her about the bookstore and how it calmed him when he was there. She was eagerly listening to him, taking notes when she felt it necessary. She could see that his easily talking to her was also an improvement from the last time.

She felt that Richard wasn't a person who kept many secrets; he was open and honest once he figured out the incentive to put his trust in someone. And as he felt that she would help him out, he was trying to be more open towards her.

She nodded, smiling appreciatively as he shared his thoughts. But then she came to the topic of their session that day.

"Richard, you remember I had told you we would be working on your nightmares from this session," she remarked in a gentle tone, "however, if you feel like we should discuss it in the next session, we can continue talking about what else is going on in your life."

He shook his head although his eyes had darkened slightly, "no, it's alright... The reason I wanted help was because the nightmares were getting worse. I don't want to delay it further."

She began by asking him about how frequently he had been experiencing those nightmares. She knew she wasn't going to intrude into his past any further than he allowed her to himself. So she kept her questions direct without making him feel like he had to tell her the context behind the nightmares.

She had talked to Bruce about Richard as well after the first session and she knew the boy did have a lot of trauma that wasn't dealt with. Even though she wasn't aware that he was a vigilante, she knew about his parents' deaths and the instances he had been abducted when he was young. 

Bruce had mentioned him arguing and leaving for Jump City as well and Lauren assumed that whatever was triggering those nightmares had something to do with his stay in Jump City.

"Can you tell me when was the first time you experienced the nightmares?"

He thought about it and then took a deep breath, "I think from the past year... Not before that."

"Have you ever had nightmares when you were young?"

"Yeah, I guess... But that was different," he looked slightly fidgety so she filled up a glass of water and offered him to drink it, "I used to see my parents falling from the trapeze... But I got better eventually. This time, it's just worse."

"So you don't see your parents in the nightmares anymore?"

"No... I see myself. But it's worse," he shuddered, taking the glass of water and lifting it to his lips.

He did not know how to explain what he saw because he wasn't supposed to give away that he had been dealing with the crime world ever since he had been a child. Mostly he saw himself as the reason for the death and destruction of the people around him. Sometimes he saw himself turning into a heartless monster not very unlike Slade Wilson.

And both those things terrified him because deep down he knew that if he fell into the darkness spreading around him, he wouldn't be able to pull himself out. 

Lauren didn't push further, feeling that it was a sensitive topic that she should approach with caution. "You don't have to tell me more. Instead, we can focus on your triggers and how to deal with them."

Throughout the rest of the session, Lauren focused on figuring out when he experienced nightmares and as he opened up more, she could see that it only happened when he was feeling down or lonely. She felt that they should work on rooting him to the present so that he could have the reassurance of his past not coming back to him.

"Richard, recovery is a process, and it takes time. But it's important to remember that you are not alone in this. I am here to support you, and we can work together to find strategies that help you manage your nightmares," she spoke reassuringly and watched him take in a slightly shaky breath.

"I understand..."

She had stopped taking notes, going through them briefly to assess what method would be best for him to start step by step on the journey of recovery.

"One strategy we can focus on is to practice relaxation techniques, like deep breathing or meditation. We can also work on developing a safety plan for when you feel triggered, such as identifying a safe space or person you can talk to."

He nodded, blue eyes looking up at her hopefully, "and it will help me?"

"Of course, it will. And it is okay even if it doesn't work the first time. We can always try different strategies until we find something that works for you. And one more thing you should keep in mind; there may be setbacks, but that doesn't mean you're not making progress."

Richard nodded slowly, "okay, I'll try my best."

Lauren smiled softly, concluding their session, "that's all I can ask for. Richard, you are brave for seeking help and taking steps toward recovery. Let's continue to work together, and I am confident that your effort will show and you will definitely feel a lot better with time."

He managed a slight smile as well, nodding his head, "I hope so. Thank you, Miss Hoult."

***