Journal Entry - 1

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I met Alli when I was four years old.

We were at the same pre-school. She was on the set of swings, trying to push herself with her feet. I remember walking over having no idea what to say. But then she smiled at me. She smiled like I had already offered to push her on the swing. I didn't hesitate after that, and spent the rest of the day pushing on the swing. I remember her laugh, it was the same as it is now— unabashed and childlike.

I remember her eyes, too. The most beautiful green eyes I've ever seen. They would ways light up when they saw me, and I like to think they shined brighter with me. Maybe that's selfish, but I like being the one to make her like that. It felt like something she could only ever give me. I remember how special I felt. Like she had picked me. When she decided she was done with the swings, she gave me a quick thanks and ran off to her parents.

After that, I waited for her every day by the swings.

There wasn't a point where she became my best friend, she just was my best friend.

I didn't need anyone else, really. Especially then. I didn't have any interest in the other kids in our class. She didn't either. I didn't need anyone else, I had a best friend. Every day for the rest of the year, I pushed Alli on the swings. She asked me if I wanted a turn sometimes, but I never did. I was happy seeing her have fun. Her laugh was enough for me. I felt chosen.

It made me want to be chosen by her forever.

And for a while, I was.

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