The Art of Starting Over

Chapter 16 - Netflix and Chill

"So, are you okay?" he asks, reaching for the remote and muting the TV.

I gauge his mood before answering. His face is smooth and friendly again. "Yes. You were right, I never really liked him the way he likes me. He's an amazing guy really, it's just... marathons are so boring!"

Jeremy chuckles softly. "That's because you're not the one doing the running."

"But he's so nice. I really wanted to like him."

"You can't choose who you like, Sparky," he mutters softly.

My mind goes back to about an hour ago, Shaun's infinite green eyes glistening as he said the words.

'I think I'm in love with you.'

I can't unhear it. You can't unhear something like that.

"He's such an idiot!" I blurt out, aware that I'm echoing Jeremy's exact words. "Why would he say something like that after just three weeks?"

Jeremy raises his eyebrows at me accusingly and I sink further into the cushions.

"Okay, fine!" I admit. "I guess, I knew he was more into the us thing than I was. But you don't just say 'I love you' to someone you've known for three weeks, right?"

Jeremy regards me thoughtfully. He pushes my hair away from my face. His thumb brushes over my cheekbone and in the quietest of voices, he asks, "Who is he?"

"Who is who?" I counter ignoring the sudden increase in my heart rate.

"The imbecile who broke your heart."

I freeze. Jeremy has been able to see straight through any barrier I put up since day one. He's almost as good at it as Millie. But that still doesn't make me want to answer.

"You're twenty-one, Ally," he goes on. "Girls your age would be floating on air if a guy like Shaun professes his undying love for them. Even if he is an airhead."

"I'm not like other girls my age."

"Don't I know it," he grins. And just like that, my anxiety crumbles and my walls are down.

"Jake," I sigh. His name leaves a bitter taste in my mouth as I fiddle with a bit of loose thread popping out from the sofa. The quiet of the night fills the room. It's almost one o'clock in the morning and it feels like we're the only humans awake on the planet. "He lived a little way down the road from me back in England. I had a crush on him for years."

Jeremy watches me attentively, still as a statue. Face closed. Eyes guarded.

"After my mum passed away, I spent a lot of time out of the house because my dad was rarely home and I couldn't stand how quiet it was. I fell in with Jake's group but never told anyone how I felt about him. I didn't exactly fit in but it was still better than being alone. Then one day, I was on the way to meet the rest of them at the park and I ran into him. Before I knew it we were kissing behind the trees."

"Seriously?" Jeremy interrupts, clearly disappointed. "Zero points for originality, Jacob!"

"We were sixteen," I answer defensively. "And, it was romantic! It was like the world began and ended with that clearing. Everything else beyond the trees was irrelevant."

Jeremy rolls his eyes, but I ignore him.

"After that, we would always find a way to slip away from the others and go make out somewhere. I was happy. I felt good and safe and special. Just like a young girl is supposed to feel the first time she falls in love. A few weeks later, Dad came home, drunk out of his mind of course, and said that I had to pack up everything and go live with Nanna Millie in a whole other country. It was like someone pulled the floor from under me. I didn't want to go. I didn't want to leave Jake. The next morning, we met at the park again and I told him I'd be gone by the end of the week."