The Art of Starting Over

Chapter 39 - Thunder

Keith is edging towards the door and my grip tightens around his fingers, complaining as I playfully pull him back towards me.

"Ally, I'm going to be late for work!"

Keith and I have been going out together for a month and three weeks now and I still feel uneasy whenever he is about to leave. Slowly and stealthily, he's become like a drug that numbs all my open wounds. He gives me a much-needed break from pondering on how persistent Nanna's cough is getting. He helps me forget about the bloodstained handkerchiefs I find when putting away the washing and how Millie has started holding on to nearby chairs and furniture to support herself. Everything is slightly hazy when Keith is around. Then he leaves and my head is as clear as day and left to wander freely amongst the horrible and ugly thoughts that have taken up permanent residency in my brain.

"You serve people alcohol. It's not good for them. You should stay here instead of destroying people's livers," I whine, leaning into his chest.

He holds me and chuckles softly into my hair. "Alison Lewis, what am I going to do with you?"

Then he starts humming softly. I close my eyes and listen to his warm, gravelly tone as he starts crooning under his breath.

"Ally, my darling, I almost wish I never met you,

Ally, my darling, you're ripping my heart in two,

Nothing I think of and nothing I do will distract me,

Ally, my darling I think that I'm falling for you."

I look up at him, giggling like a God damn idiot. "You wrote me a song? You are so cheesy!" But my smile is immediately wiped off my face seeing how serious his eyes are.

"I love you, Alison."

Time stops as his words sink in. My eyes dart around his face, looking for a sign that he's joking or making fun of me, but they don't find any. I move my lips, but nothing comes out. So I do the only thing I feel capable of doing in that situation. I lift my face to his and kiss him gently, taking in his sweetness and letting it settle the panic inside me. He puts his arms around my waist and smiles into my mouth. 

I love it when he does that. It makes me feel like I'm in one of those Rom-Coms where everything is too good to be true and you cannot possibly hold all the happiness inside you. You have to smile to release some of it. Even in moments that don't dictate smiling at all. 

"Now, I really have to go," he says, flashing his dimples. I nod reluctantly. "I'll call you when I can, okay, babe?" 

I watch him disappear down the steps before closing the door and walking back moodily to the kitchen.

I try calling Sosa but she doesn't answer. I haven't seen or spoken to her in over five days. She texted a few days ago saying she had to miss work because she was stuck in bed with a fever. But after that, I didn't hear a peep from her. I don't want to disturb her but I'm worried about her. She's been acting strangely ever since her sister left home.

I go to the sink and start clearing up the dishes before Millie gets home. She went shopping with Carmen earlier. I turn the radio back on. Keith switched it off earlier but now that he's gone, it's eerily quiet. I think about getting out Shakespeare so that I can revise what Marisa and I did in class but I'm not sure I want to switch to tragedy so soon after Keith's departure. I'm still hovering somewhere between the ground and cloud nine.

I hear the key turning in the lock and rush to the living room just in time to see Nanna coming in with a ton of bags and a broad smile on her face. She drops the bags on the floor and rests both hands on her back as she stretches her spine, her features giving in to a slight wince. I try to ignore this and take her bags over to the sofa.