The Art of Starting Over

Chapter 69 - Self-Actualisation Part 2

STILL JEREMY

She's standing in the hallway like a mirage. Mesmerising. Beautiful. In that green dress she wore when I took her out for dinner, the one that made her look like a Celtic goddess. Her hair is down over her shoulders. It's longer than it used to be, lighter in colour and ruffled in the most perfect way. She has a fringe. It suits her. Everything suits her.

How is she even more beautiful?

Her cheeks are flushed and her hazel eyes are large and bright as they scan the room, slowly, carefully, with that intense precision that always made me feel so... seen. And then, they find me and they sort of change a little, making me think of caramel and butter. Her sweet, spell-casting smile brightens her face. The world comes to a standstill and my heart beats back to life after what feels like an eternity. 

Seeing her in front of me it's like the past two hundred and six days never happened. It's like she never really left. I'm back in that bar, wondering what the itch in my back is as I'm walking towards her. I never got an itch. I never got apprehensive. But around her I was a fucking chaos.

As my brain struggles with the spectra of time and space I turn to Titov and, without taking my eyes off the ethereal beauty in front of me, I ask, "Titov, can you see a magnificently beautiful girl standing over there? Right there, in the hallway."

He looks up at her warily. I know he thinks I'm messing with him again but I need to hear it. I need to know she's real before I let my heart get ahead of itself.

"Yes?" he answers hesitantly.

Ally clasps her hands timidly in front of her, the way she does when she's nervous and doesn't know what to do with herself. If she only knew how perfect she is, she'd never feel awkward again.

She breathes out slowly, steadily, through her lips, her eyes still locked with mine.

"Titov, buddy, can we uh... Can we continue this later?"

"But Sir, we need to finalise these-"

"I said later, Titov," I say firmly as I take a few steps towards her carefully, afraid that if I approach too quickly she'll disappear into thin air.

"Ally... I thought you were in London."

"I was," she says in her caramel-like voice. Hearing it again almost brings me to my knees. I feel my senses heighten, desperately analysing every single stimulus to be certain that this is really happening, that she's really here. "I... um... I'm sorry I didn't call before coming..." her voice trails off. Then, she takes another look around the room. "This place looks incredible!"

The pride and emotion in her eyes cause my lungs to seize up. It takes every ounce of self-control I have not to scoop her into my arms and lift her up into the air like Patrick Swayze in that stupid movie she made me watch as she slept on my shoulder.

"Have you... have you spoken to Sosa?"

I sigh, trying to keep my breathing steady. I hear the hesitation in her voice and I'm sure she sees it in my eyes. She always gave me the impression she could see right through me even though I tried so hard to hide my emotions from her, a skill that always came naturally with everyone else but never with her.

"Eventually. I went over to the store a few weeks ago. She painted everything pink." I see the corners of Ally's mouth curl a little. "What about you?" I ask her, biting on my lip to crush the urge to kiss the corners of her smile.

She grimaces and gives me a look that says I should know better. "No, but I want to. I need to," she adds earnestly. "It's not easy. After everything that happened between us, I..."