Chapter 1: Vésmir

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CHAPTER 1

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CHAPTER 1

"My life is fucked up!"

I couldn't agree with myself even more. So when I blurted out 'my life is fucked up' to the person in front of me, I was just being real. But you know what? Saying it out loud felt good. It was like a release of all the pent-up frustration and stress I've been carrying.

Like Dude?! I am a hot mess right now! It's been, like, three freaking days since I last bathed, and I have no clue when is the last time I even brushed my teeth!

My face looks like a freakin' pepperoni pizza with all these pimples everywhere! and my eyebags are screaming louder than any boss at a Monday morning meeting!

And this chair?! Oh, Forget about it. I don't think I can even squeeze my booty in this freaking thing. Like, did he think I was a freaking toothpick or something?!

But whatever, dude. I'm too exhausted to care about my hygiene or comfort right now. Like, my brain is going a mile a minute with all these thoughts and worries, and I can't afford to waste a single second on trivial things.

"I can't even explain how drained I feel right now. It's like I've been holding on for dear life all day, even though I haven't done anything remotely exhausting. I mean, I just lay in bed all night! but it's like my soul is absolutely exhausted. I feel like I'm just going through the motions of life, and there's no real purpose to anything I'm doing. It's like I'm stuck in this endless cycle of existing without really living. I know it sounds dramatic, but I can't help it. It's like I'm a zombie, just going through the motions without any real emotion or feeling. Ugh, I just need a break from this monotony. I need something to give my life some meaning and purpose, or else I'm going to lose it."

"When did it started?... This feeling?" He inquired. I could see the worry line in his face, wrinkled folds that were almost talking to someone asleep yet it seems he was quite alert. Though he has long gray hair and a beard, as if he travelled a hundred decades to this moment. He seemed more relaxed and healthy and stronger than me.

I don't even know where this feeling started. Maybe it's all in my head.

I took a deep breath before speaking, and I couldn't believe how comfortable I felt sharing a part of my life that I've been avoiding. Maybe it's because he's a stranger and for some reason, I feel at ease with him.

"I just gotta be real Lolo,  My life is a freaking dumpster! I got no job, no social life, no friends, and don't even get me started on the romantic relationship situation. As if, right? Like, who in their right mind would ever be interested in me?...No one, that's who. No one would even dare to touch this hot mess express! And that's the thing. I got nothing. Period! My life is just one big pile of misery and crap. It's like the universe is playing a sick joke on me or something."

I mean, come on. How much more can one person take?!

...But, I guess Lo, this is just my reality now. A life without any purpose or meaning. A life where I'm just a sad, lonely blob of a person. It's a messed up situation, but what can I do about it? Not a damn thing, that's what. So, here I am. Just existing in this void of nothingness.... Just waiting for something, anything, to come along and give me a glimmer of hope. But until then, I'm just gonna keep on living this miserable, fucked up life."

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