(Enter Capulet, Paris, and Servant)
Capulet: So broski, basically, Montague totally loves—I MEAN HATES ME.
Paris: It's all cool, man. Anyway, you know how I'm like thirty?
Capulet: Yeah bro, why?
Paris: I wanna marry your hot thirteen-year-old daughter. Can I?
Capulet: Bro.
Paris: Bro.
Capulet: Um, you're a pedophile.
Paris: No I'm not.
Capulet: Whatever you say, I guess. Anyway. Um, Juliet can decide.
Paris: Ok, daddy-in-law.
Capulet: Anyway, I'm hosting a party tonight. Wanna come?
Paris: Ok!
(Capulet hands note to Servant)
Capulet: Give invitations to everyone on this list. Baiiiii
(Capulet and Paris exit)
Servant: Eheu! Non intellego! Non legere possum!
(Enter Bennyboy and Romeo)
Benvolio: Broski, pls get over her.
Romeo: Never. I'm her simp.
Benvolio: My dude, she doesn't love you. You're lowkey stalking her rn.
Romeo: Idk what you're talking about man.
Servant: Suntne iuvenes qui epistulas legere possunt?
Romeo: Yeah bro why.
Servant: Euge! Lege!
Romeo: No bro.
Servant: cur? Nunc lacrimabo.
Romeo: Jkjk. It says everyone but the Montagues are invited.
Servant: gratias!
(Servant exits)
Benvolio: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Romeo: Stalk Rosaline?
Benvolio: No, you incel. Let's go crash a party!
Romeo: ehhhh.
(Benvolio, with more enthusiasm)
Benvolio: LET'S GO CRASH A PARTY.
Romeo: Fine, I guess. But I'm not gonna like it.
