(Enter Capulet, Wife, Juliet, Tybalt, Nurse, and Ensemble)
Capulet: Hey y'all. This is a pretty cute party, and gals, pls dance w us old men. If you don't dance, you're probs ugly under those hideous, fugly masks. Love y'all!
(Everyone dances)
Uncle Capulet: We're old men.
Capulet: Ik.
(Meanwhile)
Romeo: Who dat?
Servant: Juliet.
Romeo: She hot. Who tf was Rosaline? Bc I only got eyes for, what's her name?
Servant: Juliet.
Romeo: Juliet. She's so hot, she makes the sun look cold. Imma ask her out.
Servant: Go ahead, I could not care less.
Tybalt: Uwu. Owo. Is that...Romeo? He's so fine...I MEAN I HATE HIM AND I WILL KILL HIM.
Capulet: Pls don't.
Tybalt: Why?
Capulet: Bc. I told you too. Go to your room. You're grounded, flat-face.
Tybalt: Aww. I've always been really insecure.
(Tybalt exits sadly)
Romeo: If I profane, with my unworthiest hand, this holy shrine, the gentle sin is this. My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand, to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.
Juliet: Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this. Saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmer's kiss.
Romeo: Have not saints lips and holy palmers too?
Juliet: Ay, lips that they must use in prayer.
Romeo: O then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do; they pray, grant thou lest faith turn to despair.
Juliet: Saints do not move, though grant for prayer's sake.
Romeo: Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take.
(They kiss)
Juliet: Ew. You kiss bad.
Romeo: My b.
Nurse: Hey y'all. Yo, Jules, Mommy's calling for you.
Juliet: Ok bye.
Romeo: Who is her mommy?
Nurse: A Capulet. Go home, Montague boy.
Romeo: Naw fam. Imma leave.
Capulet: Going home so soon?
Romeo: Ew yeah. Bye.
Capulet: I guess the party's over. Bye y'all!
(Everyone exits)
(Enter Juliet and Nurse)
Juliet: Who is that person?
Nurse: Who?
Juliet: That old man.
Nurse: Idk. Now, who are you in love with?
Juliet: No one.
Nurse: Romeo?
Juliet: That's his name?
Nurse: He's a Montague.
Juliet: Oh fck.
