15: Just a Fantasy***

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"Laying down on the lawn
I'm tired of trying to get in the house
I'm thinking out loud
I've been playing dead
My whole life
And I get this feeling whenever I feel good
It'll be the last time

But I feelsomethingwhenI see younow
I feel somethingwhen I see you..."

-"ICU", Phoebe Bridgers

*****

Mental note to send a fruit basket to the hospital because they sent me home with top tier pain killers

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Mental note to send a fruit basket to the hospital because they sent me home with top tier pain killers. I'm high as a kite by the time Dustin and the party get me back to the house. Good thing too because I know the moment I come out of this haze I'm going to have to deal with what the fuck happened over the last twenty four hours.

Let's recap: I morphed into a jealous asshole, tried to race a fucking rocket ship of a car, crashed the car, cried in an ambulance, got a concussion and some stitches, got slapped, and managed to stay Camila's friend. Jesus.

It's still storming out so at least I have the soothing sound of rain pattering against the wall of a glass window. The party is in the living room, doing a surprisingly good job of keeping quiet. Unfortunately, that just leaves me here alone on this bed in Camila's room by myself. I didn't really know where else to go. After taking a shower I found my clothes in here and then just climbed up on the bed. I'm afraid to take a deep breath. I know she napped in here yesterday.

Fuck it. I'm high as shit, I might as well. With a deep inhale through my nose I take in the scent lingering on the pillow under my head. God damn I could get high off this smell alone. It's the same scent she left all over my bed that night I let her sleep over. It's something floral and soft, but deep like rain in the summer, and it bursts with the freshness of grass in the spring. It's heaven.

My eyes close while I snuggle into the pillow, manipulating it so I'm sort of surrounded by it. The bright shining colors that have danced through my mind when I close my eyes have now melted into one vision of her. My heart beat quickens at the mere thought of her. Having her in my life has been one of the most unexpected gifts. She opens my eyes and makes me see things differently, or things that I just never thought to look at. It's as if my mind has been a dark room and she's the light that makes everything clear. But that's probably just the pain killers talking. It had to be.

In a perfect world Camila would walk through that bedroom door right now and all of our friends would scatter out of the house. She'd climb up on the bed and I'd tease that perfect little body of hers until she's begging me to fuck her...

I don't even realize I've got my cock in my hand until the pre-cum is all over my palm. Meh. Since I'm already indulging...might as well just go with it. I've seen her in a what is really a pathetic excuse for a bikini, not to mention the night she stayed in my bed without pants. I don't know exactly what she's hiding under her clothes, but I've got a pretty good imagination. I don't know why I'm acting like I've never done this before. She's been the sole occupant of my spank bank since the moment she stepped foot into town. Maybe it's because the party is in the other room? Whatever. Don't care. Time to take my shirt off and enjoy the pain killers while my mind goes crazy...

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