28: Better Left Unsaid***

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"There's things I wanna say to you, but I'll just let you live
Like if you hold me without hurting me
You'll be the first who ever did
There's things I wanna talk about, but better not to give
But if you hold me without hurting me
You'll be the first who ever did

Hold me, love me, touch me, honey
Be the first who ever did
Hold me, love me, touch me, honey
Be the first who ever did..."

-"Cinnamon Girl", Lana Del Rey

*****

Do you know how often I get the house to myself? Never

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Do you know how often I get the house to myself? Never. But this is the second night in a row where Johanna's gone and left me here. There will be no complaints from me.

It's been a few hours since Eddie checked the pulse on our friendship and found it holding on steadily. It's not hard to look at him like this and pretend that other side of him just doesn't exist. He makes it so easy now that he's laying on my floor smiling at me.

We're listening to a Metallica tape and talking about everything from first kisses — Bobby Radcliffe, 6th grade, too much tongue — to Eddie's aversion to literally any healthy food — if you can grow it, he wants no part of it.

Eddie stretches his arms over his head and I sneak a look over the side of the bed and down at him. The long sleeved Slayer shirt he has on rides up and I can see the little happy trail of hair disappearing under the top of his pants. Fuck it's so hot. I'm too busy being wrapped up in how perfectly his black pants hang from his hips to notice that he's watching me. Don't blame me, blame my pussy — she's got a mind of her own.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer." My head snaps up and of course Eddie's got the smuggest grin on his face. "Havin' fun checking me out?"

"You check me out enough for the both of us, so I figured I'd throw you a bone," I smirk back as coyly as I can.

A switch has been flipped and I can feel it sparking through the air. Eddie stands up and peels his leather jacket off. "If you want me Camila, all you have to do is ask for it." He tosses the jacket on my desk and stalks towards me. The dimly lit lamp on my nightstand gives him the illusion that he's emerging from the shadows. Hot.

Once he's close enough for me to get a good look into his eyes I can see there's this lust in them that still feels a little predatory, but only in the sense that he's dying to get his hands on me. It's as if the hold he's got on himself that's keeping him from giving in to whatever ravenous urges he's trying to hide is hanging on by a thread. When he looks back into my eyes I know all I want to do is cut that last thread and unleash him.

"How should I ask for it?" I bat my lashes up at him, feigning an innocence that only stokes the fire behind his eyes. He's standing right next to the edge of my bed. I pull my shirt off over my head and push myself backwards. Eddie follows my body and climbs up in the bed himself. He doesn't stop moving until he's got me laying under him, his arms on each side of my body, caging me in.

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