6: Cruel World

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"Shared my body and my mind with you
That's all over now
Did what I had to do
'Cause you're so far past me now

Shared my body and my life with you
That's way over now
There's not more a mind can do
You're so famous now

Got your Bible, got your gun
And you like to party and have fun
And I like my candy and your women
I'm finally happy now that you're gone

Put my little red party dress on
Everybody knows that I'm the best
I'm crazy
Get a little bit of bourbon in ya
Get a little bit suburban and go crazy

Because you're young, you're wild, you're free
You're dancin' circles around me
You're fuckin' crazy
You're crazy for me..."

-"Cruel World", Lana Del Rey

*****

I feel the warmth of Owen's body against mine as he holds me while we dance

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I feel the warmth of Owen's body against mine as he holds me while we dance. I think back to the time Eddie slow danced with me in my bedroom back in Indiana. It feels like such a distant memory now.

I feel Eddie watching me again and hold my head up high. He's not the only one who can take things. I gave him every piece of me and I'm taking every single one back. My joy and my love? My touch? It's not his anymore. That's all over now.

Every time Owen moves his hands on my body there's a little slash to Eddie's suit of armor and he shows it all over his face. The regret. The desperation. The pain. Not to mention the humiliation of getting his ass beat by my boyfriend. I feel beautiful in my dress and after the brilliant day I had today I feel remarkably empowered. He's stuck on the sidelines wishing he had me, even though he got everything he ever wanted.

Except for me.

Eat your heart out Eddie Munson.

*****

*****

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