Dear pain, why is love so hard? ~Larry Stylinson~

4: ~Why the fuck am I like this?~

Harry
I wake up and I notice almost immediately I'm not alone. Then I remember Louis stayed here for the night. Our legs are entwined and I feel his hot breath in my neck. I'm startled when I notice. If my parents see us like this they probably think we're together. I gently separate my legs from his and lie a little further away from him. I can't lay with him like that. I just can't. Louis wakes up too. 'Morning Harry', he says with a hoarse voice from sleeping, I smile. 'Morning Lou.' Louis runs a hand trough his messy hair. 'What time is it?' I look at my phone. 'It's 12 p.m', he smiles. 'I don't sleep that long very often.' 'Me neither', I say. 'But I think we felt asleep at 6 a.m so it's not that weird', we both laugh. 'I loved yesterday', Louis says. He rests his chin on his hand so he can look at me. 'Me too, it was very fun', I say smiling. 'Shall we get breakfast?', Louis nods. 'Yes, I'm starving', he says, and we walk downstairs.

'It surprise me you guys are still alive, I thought you would never wake up anymore', says Gemma with a smile when we walk into the kitchen. 'Morning too Gem', I say laughing. 'How late was it before you slept finally?', she asks. 'Uhm around 6?', Louis says grinning. Gemma laughs and shakes her head. 'Boys....', she mumbles and she walks away. After Louis and I eat something we decide to go to his house. 'Gem we're going!', I say. 'Have fun!', she says back. Louis and I grab our bikes and cycle to Louis' house. Halfway Louis stops random. 'Wait, we can pick up Niall and Zayn if you want?', he asks. 'Yeah sure! Sounds fun!', I answer. 'Alright, let's go to Niall first.' When we're at Niall's home he opens the door by his self. 'Hey lads! What are you doing here?', he asks. 'Wanna go to mine's? We're gonna pick up Zayn too', Louis says. 'Sure! Wait I'll grab my bike', Niall says, and a minute later he stands next to us. 'Let's go pick up Z.'

When we're at Zayns house his mom opens the door. She smiles. 'Hey boys, Zayn's upstairs', she says. 'Thank you, we'll be gone in a minute!', Louis says and we walk upstairs to Zayns room. Niall knocks on the door. 'Er, wait a second!', we hear. After a few seconds Zayn opens the door. 'Oh hey boys!', he says surprised. 'Would you like to come with us to my house?', Louis asks. 'Yeah, sounds great!', he says. We walk downstairs with the four of us. 'I'm at Louis' house mom!', Zayn says. 'Okay, have fun!' When we're at Louis we go to his room Niall slaps Louis playful on his back. 'So, Lou, you slept at Haz's tonight?', asks Niall with a grin. Zayn looks surprised. 'Wait what?', he begin to smile. 'Guys! We literally just talked, stop doing this', I say, Louis groans. 'You literally only can think dirty minded don't you', he says. Niall and Zayn nods enthusiastic. I start to laugh. 'You guys are hopeless... Argh!', Louis falls down on his bed. Niall pushes me and I fall down next to Louis. 'Lads, stop!', I laugh. 'I wanna cry', says Louis with his head in his pillow. Zayn and Niall sits down on the bed too.

'Alright, we'll stop.... for now', I roll laughing with my eyes. These guys are hopeless. 'What shall we do?', asks Zayn. 'We can do a Kahoot?', says Louis, we nod enthusiastic. 'Yeah, sounds fun!', says Niall. 'But I'm gonna disappoint you, I'm a pro in Kahoot', he says with a grin. 'I'm gonna beat you Horan, wait for it', says Louis with a grin. 'I'll find one, so you guys can play', I say. 'Sure? I can find one too', says Zayn. 'It's okay, I love to watch how you fight', I say with a smile. Zayn smiles back and I seek a logo quiz Kahoot. 'Fucking hell! Niall!', scolds Louis when Niall comes above him on the screen after a few minutes. 'I said I'm pro in kahoots', he laughs. 'It's not over Lou! You can still win', I say. 'What about me?', says Zayn with a fake sad face. 'You're too far under us Z', says Niall laughing.

10 minutes later is the last question is done and Niall has won. 'Goddammit!', says Louis. But he's smiling so he isn't really mad. 'I thought I could beat you this time Nialler', Niall laughs. 'No one can ever beat me with kahoot!', I shake my head laughing. 'So, we spilt our whole time with watching Niall and Louis fight over something but we all know Niall was gonna win?', I ask. 'Yup', Louis says laughing. He puts his arm around Niall. 'Congrats bud, but one day I'm gonna win', Niall laughs. I smile, I love being with them. That's a miracle, normally I hate people, but I love these boys. I look at Louis, he smiles at me, it makes me feel warm. What the fuck? I can't feel that for him! He's my best friend, and not more. 'You okay?', asks Louis silently, he sits down next to me. I nod. 'Yeah, I'm fine thanks.' 'Alright, shall we play truth or dare?', Niall asks. 'Yeah sure!', I say. 'I'll start, Zayn truth or dare?', Niall asks. 'Er, truth', he says. 'Who is the best teacher on our school', Zayn grins. 'There all shit except one, so Mr. Payne I guess', he says. 'D'you have a crush on him?', asks Niall grinning. 'Wait what?' 'Sorry I just seek new people to ship', Niall says laughing. 'Niall! Why the fuck would I have a crush on a teacher?', asks Zayn. 'Dunno, but he's not that ugly right?', Zayn laughs. 'Nialler, I don't have a crush on my fucking history teacher, okay?', 'Okay, sad, it's your turn Z.'

'Alright, er, Harry, truth or dare?', he asks. 'Truth', I say. 'If you could only listen to one single song for the rest of your life, which one would it be?', I think about that one for a moment. 'I think..... 'Shine On You Crazy Diamond' by Pink Floyd. I'm seriously in love with that song', I say, the boys nod in agreement. 'Alright, Niall, truth or dare?' 'Dare', he says grinning. 'Do your best impression of a fish out of water', I say. 'You're serious Styles?', he asks, I nod enthusiastic. He sights and does the exercise. We laugh extremely hard at him. 'You.... I.....', Louis can't say anything from laughter. Niall starts to laugh to. After a few minutes we can properly talk again. 'That was the funniest thing I've ever seen', says Zayn laughing. 'Alright, your turn', I say. 'Okay, Lou, truth or dare?' 'Dare.' Niall grins and whispers something in Louis' ear. Louis starts to blush and shakes his head. 'What, what, what?', asks Zayn curious. 'No nothing', says Louis fast. 'Shall we do something different?' I see Louis is not comfortable at this game anymore so I nod and the other boys follow that.

A hour later Gemma calls me. 'Wait a second, Gemma calls me', I say to the boys and I walk out of Louis room. 'Hey Gem, what's up?' 'Mom and dad are home, they wanna talk to you.' I'm surprised. 'Uhm why?', Gemma's voice is a bit nervous. 'You know, they found out about Louis, that he slept here, so if you wanna safe your friendship I would come home, like right now', she says. Fuck, they probably think Louis and I are together or something. I need to do something before I'm not allowed to have contact with Lou anymore. 'Shit, er, yeah I'm coming home', I say, and I hang up. I walk into Louis' room again. 'Uhm, I need to go', I say. 'Do you want me to bring you home?', aks Louis gently, I shake my head. 'No thanks', I say. 'Okay, but I let you out, if you want or not', Louis smiles, I smile back. I walk with him downstairs and says thank you to his mom. 'It was fun yesterday', says Louis. 'Yeah, I think that too', I say. 'See you tomorrow Lou!' 'Bye!'

I cycle home as fast as I can. I need to safe our friendship, I can't deal with another contact ban. When I'm home I almost ran into the living room, my parents sit on the couch. 'Ah, there you are', says my dad. He looks not very happy. 'Is it true Louis slept with you in your bed yesterday night?', he says, his eyes are angry. 'Yes that's true, but just like friends! He isn't even gay dad, and I'm neither', I say. 'Are you honest?', my mom asks. 'Yeah! Yeah I am! Believe me, he's just a really good friend!', I say. 'Please don't do the same you did to me for Leroy, I can't lose another best friend', I say almost begging. 'Don't you dare say his name ever again!', says my dad. He slaps me in the face. My jaw drops in shock. He just slapped me! 'He's just a dumb fag! Don't say his name ever again!', my eyes starts to tear up. 'O-okay.' 'You promise you'll never be like him?', says my mom. 'I-I promise', I say scared. 'Okay, go to your room now!', my dad says. I nod and walk to my room. Gemma follows me and when we're in my room she hugs me. I start to cry. 'H-he literally slapped me Gem!', I sob. 'Shh, I know, it's not okay....', she says. 'And I know how much you love Leroy, bit it's the best to not mention him when mom and dad are close, okay?', I nod. She hugs me tighter. 'I'm so sorry for you Haz...' 'It's okay', I say softly. But it hurts more than Gemma ever could think.

When Gemma is in her own room I start to cry. My parents are just terrible today. My dad literally slapped me! I'm still confused about that. I feel myself turning mad, he called Leroy a fag! I would do so much to talk to him again, but I can't, not when my parents are like this. I scream in my pillow, why can't I just have normal, supportive parents? Then a terrifying thought overcomes me. What if I'm gay? Or bi, of whatever? My parents will literally kill me! I shake my head. No, no, I'm not gay. I'm not. O my god! I scream in my pillow again. Why the fuck am I like this? Why can't I be just a normal guy? My phone buzzes. I see Louis is calling me. Without thinking I pick up. 'Hey', he says. 'Hey', I say back. It's silent for a moment. 'Did you- Did you cry?', he asks. 'No', I lie. 'Oh, er, okay', I sight. 'Why're you calling?' 'You go away so fast, is everything okay?', I feel tears swelling up in my eyes again. 'Er, y-yeah', I say. 'Haz, I can hear you're almost crying, what's up?', he asks politely. 'It's nothing', I answer. 'You sure?' 'Yes, I'm fine Lou, thanks.'

Chapter 4, sorry if some things aren't correct, but I'm so fucking dutch :)
I'm crying, Harry's here for 3 fucking days and I'm not fucking going arghhhhhh :(
If someone's going I wanna know, I wanna know all the detailsss
xx