The Nature of the Emergency (Evan 'Buck' Buckley X OC)

It was supposed to be Christmas (Part 1)

It has been a couple of days since then and I am currently making sure we have everything ready for Bobby's Christmas Eve party. Yep, what was supposed to be a party with me. My Mum, Gavin and Buck turned into a full-blown get-together with the 118 plus Athena and Gavin. Not that I mind. It seems that it is the perfect time to spread the news that Buck and I are engaged. Right now I am talking with Howie and Hen. They are currently trying to work out why I am in such a good mood after the slump that I found myself in. It is at that moment I notice that the look on Howie's face changes.

"I see that you are going to be Mrs Buckley," Howie takes notice of the ring.

"Yes. He proposed to me a couple of days ago," I reply. Howie flashes me his trademark goofy grin.

"And actually I have decided that it will be Calder-Buckley. It will be easier for work," I counter. The thing is I don't want to do the name change paperwork. It will take forever. I soon came to the conclusion that I might be a bridezilla. I hope not but it will be hard to plan things around work.

"I believe congratulations are in order," Athena announces as she and Bobby Join us.

"Yes and before you say anything Bobby I know the risks of loving someone on the job," I responded. I know for a fact that I am never going to hear the end of it from Bobby who gives me a funny look.

"All I was going to say is it's about time Buck found someone to take him off my hands," Bobby counters. I will have to ask him what he means later. There is probably some backstory that I am missing. To be honest I just want to enjoy my time before what could be considered the shift from hell. For some reason, the Christmas period drives people crazy and I have elected to take a twenty-four-hour long shift so I could have the New years period off. The next person to join us is Gavin. He has a smirk across his face. That can only mean one thing.

"Hey Gavin, did Buck ask you for your blessing?" I get to work on finding out the truth.

"Not quite. He just announced that he was going to do it," Gavin responds.

"And I thought this was supposed to be a Christmas dinner," Gavin adds for good measure. He is right. This night was supposed to make up for the fact that we will all be working tomorrow.

"Yes you're right but Ella needs to be reminded of the good times," Buck remarks as he joins me. He also wraps his spare arm around me. Now he is just showing off. I catch myself zoning out.

I am struck by how horrific the burns are. Most of his body is covered in red charred spots. It's as if he has been cooked alive. Only instead of my dad lying in the gurney it's Buck. My heart sinks further. I can't lose him.

With that, I wiggle free from his grip. I am quick to excuse myself. I make a beeline for somewhere quiet. The place just happens to be the kitchen. After a couple of minutes of alone time, Bobby joins me. He seems concerned.

"You're worried about losing Buck in the same way that you lost your father," Bobby hits the nail on the head.

"Yes. The thing is I want to tell Buck but I don't want him to second guess himself. Our relationship means everything to him and everything to me," I explain. I know for a fact that Buck and I are destined to be together however I can't afford to lose him for real. Call me an overthinker but if you have been on the job for as long as I have you will learn some harsh truths.

"I guess now would be the time for me to warn you about the dangers of loving someone on the job," He looks me in the eyes. I try my best to avert my gaze however I am not quick enough.

"No Bobby you don't need to. I'll reach out for some help after work. The problem is how do I explain how I feel to Buck without making him feel guilty," I snap. Honestly, I think I'm just putting pressure on myself to make things work between us. Besides, today is supposed to be a Christmas, not a funeral. The look on Bobby's face softens.

"Let's just enjoy our night tonight. I'll check in with you tomorrow," Bobby says as he rejoins the group. I reluctantly follow him. At least I know that Bobby will be able to help me through the pain. I just need to open up to Buck. That is going to be the hard part. It is the day after and I am awake way too early. To be honest I didn't really get any decent sleep. Hopefully, work can get my mind off of my personal problems. Don't get me wrong I have to address them at some point but I don't think I am ready yet. I carefully work myself free from Buck's grasp. I land a small peck on his cheek before I get ready for the day. Since it is winter I have decided to wear my LAFD hoodie over my standard t-shirt. After a quiet thirty minutes of preparing for my day, I am cooking breakfast for both me and Buck. I have decided that I am going to treat him with pancakes.

"Ella?" Buck calls out. He sounds half asleep.

"In the kitchen," I called back. I am quick to hear the telltale thud of Buck making his way down the stairs. I am pulled out of my thoughts by the feeling of someone squeezing me around the waist. I let a little giggle out of my mouth.

"Merry Christmas," Buck says before planting a kiss on the nape of my neck.

"Merry Christmas to you too. If you're not careful your pancakes are going to burn," I break him out of his love trance.

"Ok. That reminds me there is something that I need to talk to you about," Buck says as he lets go.

"Look if it is about last night I panicked. Since we are committed to getting married My mind went to what could go wrong if something were to happen to us on the job," I come out and say what has been bothering me.

"It sounds stupid but when I zoned out I had a flashback to the night of the apartment blaze that killed my dad. Being in the back of the ambulance. Only it wasn't Dad. It was you," I come out and say it. There is no point in hiding it.

"It's not stupid. You are scared of losing someone. Bearing in mind that someone was crushed by a fire truck. Anyway, let's eat. I'm hungry," Buck counters. Luckily for him, the pancakes are ready. With a few swift movements, I have his share on a plate for him quickly followed by my share. We take our plates and sit down. Before I have the chance to dig in, Buck grabs my hand in a way that's supposed to comfort someone.

"Look Ella whatever happens I will always be with you," He says. You know what he is right. I may not see it now but he and the rest of the 118 will do everything in their power to help me. After fifteen minutes of chatting Buck and I are finally on our way to work. I take a deep breath. I just need to get through today then I will be fine.