Betrayal

You're an asshole - Mattheo's POV

A/N: This chapter takes place partly at the same time as the previous chapter. It starts right after Y/N walked away from Mattheo after finding everything out. It then goes into the part where Y/N gets back and Pansy and her leave to go to their dormroom. It then takes place during the time Pancy left Y/N alone in their room. 

I fucked up. Badly. She knows. And I lost her. I know I did. And there's nothing I can do to bring her back to me. I wanted to run after her. I wanted to explain everything, but she wouldn't let me. And I know, if I would've followed her, I would've made things even worse. I have to let her go for now. Next to that, I need to clear my head for a bit, to figure out a way I can keep her safe from my father now that Y/N probably wants nothing to do with me anymore. I wanted to go to the field in the forest, but it was already getting late and nobody should go into the Forbidden Forest at night. There are way too many creatures awake at night that would hurt a person. So, since I couldn't go there, I decided to go to the next best place, the Astronomy Tower. I sat down all the way at the top looking out at the stars, hoping they would give me a way to get Y/N back, or at least keep her safe. I thought about every possible option throughout the night, but not one would get her back to me. I had been sitting here for so long, that it was almost morning again, so I ended up going back to my dormroom in the hope of catching a couple hours of sleep before my first class.

However, after I got back from the Astronomy Tower, I saw Pansy frantically pacing around the commonroom and Theo sitting nervously on the couch. 'What's going on?' I asked, scared to find out what was happening. 'Mattheo!! Where were you?! I looked everywhere for you! Where is Y/N?' Pansy said anxiously. 'I was at the Astronomy Tower. But, isn't Y/N with you?' If she's not here where is she? 'No, she's not here. I haven't heard from her in a while. She was going to go over to your room after dinner and I wanted to check up on her, because I just had this feeling that something was wrong and then I saw you guys weren't in your room. So, I looked around the castle until I bumped into Filch who sent me back to the commonroom. And then it got later and later and neither of you guys came back here and I got worried and now you're telling me that Y/N hasn't been with you at all since dinner?' 'Are you sure you have looked everywhere? She has to be somewhere right?' I was getting worried now. 'Yes, Mattheo. I looked everywhere. The only place I couldn't look was the Astronomy Tower, but if you were there, then she can't have been there. I even went over to Hermione's room to see if Y/N was there, but Hermione had also not seen her since dinner. Mattheo it's almost 6 in the morning, you've been out all night and Y/N's not even here. What if something happened to her?' I heard Pansy's breathing quicken, a lot. 'Pansy, please breathe. It'll be alright. We'll find her, okay?' Theo said while walking over to Pansy. Pansy took a couple deep breaths trying to calm down, but it didn't work. I could feel her anxiety from meters away and I was starting to get anxious as well. Y/N left because of me and if something happened to her, that would be my fault. I sat down on the couch with my head in my hands staring down at the ground. Theo sat down next to me. 'Do you know what happened to Y/N?' Theo whispered to me, while Pansy was still pacing around the room. I looked up at him with regret in my eyes. 'I... She found everything out and she ran away. I don't know where. I thought she would go to Pansy. I'm sorry, I should've followed her. If something happens to her, it's my fault.' I whispered back before dropping my head back in my hands. Theo wanted to say something else to me, but he got interupted by the door of the commonroom. 

We all heard the door opening and we all looked up at once. It was Y/N. Thank goodness she's safe. I wanted to run up to her to check if she was alright, because she was covered in dirt, and to hold her in my arms, but I couldn't do that anymore. So, I avoided eye-contact and just stared at the ground. I heard Pansy running over to Y/N asking her where she had been during the night and all she said was that she was in the forest. She went to the forest on her own at night. What the hell was she thinking? She could've died. Apparently, Pansy agreed with my thoughts, because she yelled them out to Y/N. 'Pansy, please calm down a bit.' Theo tried to calm Pansy down, while Y/N tried to form another sentence. Only no words came out of her mouth. I felt her eyes burning on my skin and it took everything in me not to look up at her. 'Let's get you cleaned up in our room, okay?' Pansy said softly before leading Y/N out of the room. I looked up and followed her out of the room with my gaze, secretly hoping Y/N would look back one more time. But, she didn't. 

Once the door to Y/N's and Pansy's room closed, Theo started talking again. 'What the hell happened? How did she find out?' 'I don't know. One moment I'm talking with my father about her in an empty classroom next thing I know, I open the door and Y/N is standing there asking me if it's true that I'm using her to get her over to my father's side. I wanted to explain to her that it started like that, but that I started to care for her. I wanted to explain everything, but she wouldn't listen to me. All she heard was that she was just another task from my father. I fucked up, Theo.' 'Yes, you did. Because she's fucking broken now. She couldn't even form a normal sentence while looking at you. And next to that, because of you, she spent the night in the Forbidden Forest. SHE COULD'VE DIED MATTHEO!' 'Don't you think I know that Theo? Don't you think I wasn't terrified something might have happened to her the moment you guys told me, she didn't come home during the night?' 'I know you do, but...'

While I was being lectured by Theo, Pansy stormed into the room again. She walked up to me and slapped me in my face. I stroked my hand over my cheek and looked up at her. 'Hello to you too.' I said with an obsessive amount of sarcasm. 'You're an asshole, you know that right? We all know how your father is, but dating Y/N because of him and because he wants her on his side? That's a fucking dick move and I thought you were better than that. She doesn't deserve you, you asshole.' Everything she said was true. We all know how my father is, but I should've known better. Y/N never deserved any of this and eventhough it all started out as a task from my father, I really do care about Y/N and I think I just lost the best thing that has happened to me in a while. 'Why are you not saying anything, Mattheo?!' Pansy said after I stayed quiet. 'What do you want me to say, Pansy? That you're right? That I never should've done any of this? That I just lost the one person who was always there for me? That I just lost the best thing that has ever happened to me? Because, it's all true, but I can't go back. I can't undo what I did. And like you said you know how my father is and he convinced me to do this and once I started catching feelings for her I wanted to stop it all. But, I couldn't.' 'Why not?! Why did you have to go through all of this trouble just to hurt her?' Pansy was frustrated at the not knowing why I couldn't stop. And I couldn't blame her. 'Because he would kill her, if I couldn't get her to join my fathers side. And I wouldn't be able to live with myself if that happened.' 'I... Why didn't you say anything?' Pansy sounded defeated at the thought of her best friend dying by the hands of my father. She sat down on the other end of the couch while a single tear formed in her eyes. 'What would you have wanted me to say? Oh hey, I'm dating your best friend, because my father wants her on his side or he wants her dead. Oh and hey don't tell her, because it'll break her and it will make it so she would never join his side and with that sign her own death?' 'I don't know, okay Mattheo! But, either way, you broke her. You fucked up!' Pansy yelled out of frustration and anger. 'I know Pansy! I know I did and I fucking hate myself for that!' 'You really do care about her, don't you?' 'Yes, I do.' 'Then you have to tell her that. Because she thinks she never meant anything to you, apart from being a task for your father.' 'That's not true. I've cared for her since the moment I got to really know her. And I tried to explain that to her, but she wouldn't listen to me. And now it's too late.' 'It's never too late, Mattheo.' 'Yes, it is, Pansy. She will never forgive me for what I did and even if she did, she would never believe me if I told her how much I really care about her. And I wouldn't even blame her. I wouldn't forgive or believe myself either, because I don't deserve it. She's better off without me anyway.' 'What about your father?' Theo interjected. 'I'll keep him at a distance with lies and I'll protect her with everything that I have. I will always keep her safe. No matter what.'

After my conversation with Pansy I had to leave to go to class. For my first class I didn't need anything apart from my wand, but for my second class I needed my books. And low and behold I forgot those with everything that happened. So, as soon as my first class ended, I swiftly made my way to my dormroom to pick up my books. I walked into my room, but after only having set one foot through the door, I stopped walking. I saw something laying on my bed that wasn't there before. I walked over to it and saw that it was the ring I gave Y/N. She had worn it everyday since I gave it to her and now it was here, on my bed, and not on her finger anymore. I knew this was really the end of us without it being said.