𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕤 𝕚𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕟𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 // Akaza x reader (+18)

Chapter 3 | Failure and Love

Back in your base you clench your teeth as you treat yourself. Fortunately the slice wasn't deep. However this doesn't persuade your body from stopping to bleed as if it were a fatal wound. Your whole uniform is soaked in blood and the stench of it pollutes your bedroom.

You wrinkle your nose and strip the cloth from your skin. With a disgusted mimic you cross your room and throw the wet, leaking thing into the shower. This is exactly why every demon slayer has multiple uniforms. They sometimes never get clean again.

Your bandage holds tight around your waist and you decide to wash your hair in the sink.
The cold water freezes your sensitive flesh but you grit your teeth and breathe through the unwelcoming feeling. The water droplets flow over your face and you stand upright again. Your neck gets in contact with your wet hair and goosebumps begin to spread across your body.

Quickly you take the soap and work it into your hair. The water drips onto the floor and cools your feet. You don't dare to look into the mirror. To look at the disappointment that rode you into this disaster. The blueish light in your bathroom doesn't show much anyway.

Your head is back in the sink a gasp later and the cold water begins to wash out the soap. Where it floods your face it mingles with the salty tears that started to escape your eyes. Together they disappear between the strands of your hair.

A sob echoes through your bathroom. Your fingers curl in your hair as you continue to clean it while your forehead barely meets the sink.
Your lips begin to quiver but you stay where you are with your head beneath the water tab.

Another sob breaks the silence of the night.
Your mind yells at you for failing so miserably. Your honor crumbles as you recall the scenario.

You turn off the tab and lift your head.

A few moments later you wring your hair out and embrace it in a towel. Sobs and whimpers accompany the procedure. A new uniform finds its way around your stiff body.
The cloth feels like velvet.
A new pair of socks begins to warm you up.

Eventually you look into the mirror.
Your eyes look ... exhausted. Eyebags adorn them. Tears blur your vision and leave trails on your cheeks. The excited gleam that once danced in your eyes is extinguished. Your eye color looks dull and withered.
The tips of your mouth are turned downwards. Your shoulders are slumped.
Overall you look like you've been awake for way too long. However you've had a rather peaceful sleep the day before.

The humiliation alone is the purpose for your appearance.
That when you finally found the killer of your loved master you were way too weak to even stand a chance. That after you've been with a goddamn Hashira you still are comparablely weak.
You squint your eyes as the tears continue to drop.

The worst thing is that Akaza knows it. It took him seconds to know that you weren't a worthy opponent.
It's degrading and mortifying. So mortifying.

A loud cry shatters your decency.
If Rengoku saw you right now he'd turn in his grave.

Of course you were aware that your chances of winning by your own were low but Akaza didn't even fight. He didn't shiver, didn't acknowledge you.
And he simply dodged your attack.

Three weeks ago you celebrated how fast you've gotten. Now you could laugh at yourself.

You look up at the ceiling to somehow stop the tears of frustration rolling down your cheeks. If Akaza could see this he would be in a delight you don't want to grant him.

The pure thought of his sadistic smile stops your weeping.

You wipe over your eyes and stalk back into your bedroom. The sun just started to rise thus the village will not awake for another two hours. Fortunately the sun in summer is strong enough to dry your hair even at this hour of the day. It will take some time but you won't catch a cold.