𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕤 𝕚𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕟𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 // Akaza x reader (+18)

Chapter 17 | Pride

You stare at each other for a brief moment. The floor beneath your feet creaks slightly while Akaza's body leaves no sound behind.

He seems to contemplate, his eyes fixed on yours. He parts his lips but hesitates. Then his gaze turns colder.

"Mental health is as important for progress and victory as physical training. Make sure you talk about it in case you're struggling", the Upper Moon remarks mildly.

"Ts", you make, not sure how to react.
"It's rather ironic to hear that from the source of my struggles", you spat and emphasize the term struggle as unserious as possible.

Strangely you regret the words as soon as they leave your tongue. And it's not for the fear of having insulted you potential killer. More importantly it's for the fear of having hurt his feelings.

Akaza's expression changes again as does the air around you. A cold breeze sends shivers down your spine as well as an unpleasant feeling into your stomach.

With a cold voice Akaza comments:
"It wasn't my goal to become a demon."

Although you feel guilty for your response you realize that Akaza didn't use the word 'choice'. He said it wasn't his goal but that does not mean that he didn't chose this life. On top of that being a demon doesn't imply being an Upper Moon; following the most dangerous creature for mankind.
This has in fact been a choice.

And there's something else.
"It was your choice to kill the Flame Hashira", you remind Akaza.

You're feeling sassy for no reason. Maybe it's the hormones.

"You shouldn't judge someone you don't know at all", Akaza replies without hesitation.

"I know enough."

"No, you don't."

The two of you stare at each other again. Only this time it's out of stubbornness.

You cross your arms.
"Fine, same goes for you. Stop making up diagnoses about my mental health."

"Fine", Akaza says and breaks the eye contact with a sigh, "but don't expect progress if you don't fix your whatever it is. You already made it far with the meditation. Don't fall back."

Or what?
You keep your mouth shut which Akaza seems to take as dismissal.

"Same time tomorrow", he utters mildly.
With this he leaves the dōjō and steps into the perishing night.

Unexpectedly the Upper Moon doesn't vanish yet. He waits for you to leave the dōjō as well and then closes its doors behind you.

However you're too annoyed to be grateful or impressed. Too proud to think about the praise he gave you when he had every right to be pissed at you.

***

After sleeping until deep into the afternoon again you do your daily exercises. You give up though after an hour.
Your mind won't still. You can't concentrate properly which is why you decide to meditate.

You hate to admit it but Akaza did the impossible. The one thing Rengoku couldn't convince you to do to calm down: Meditate.

This time you won't do it in the woods or somewhere else more private. Against the odds you sit down on the bench behind your house, fold your legs, close your eyes and breathe in. And in. And in. And in.