Not a love story - Matheo Riddle & Y/n Lestrange

40

i can't respond so i run upstairs, as i slam the door i slide down the wall crying, he cannot. i will always love him, he- i want him to be selfish and have me even if it means he might die, id rather know he's mine then know he might be out with someone else, and the idea of me being with other men repeals me 

im his, he is mine thats it

he opens the door and sits infront of me

"i have 5 weeks untill i go back to school, and you wont be there and you- your breaking up with me," i cant help but cry 

"you need to listen to me, im doing this for you," he says with glassy eyes

"be selfish, be selfish and dont let go of me," i beg 

" i cant do that y/n, i might die and you want me to cause you pain if i die, you would weep over my grave knowing i would never come back you want that," he says angrily

"i love you, you love me," i say holding his hands as i roll on my knees, as hes in the same position infront of me

"please dont make this any harder than it is, i beg of you," he cries letting the tears spill

"dont do this to me, i beg of you," i please with him

"you wont die i know that, and if you do i die with you,"i say as his face tilts down as his tears paint the floor

"i cant be selfish, i have to leave you," he sniffles

my hand reaches his face as i lift his chin as i see him, my baby, my sweet boy

"baby, you have always put me first i want you to put yourself first, if you cant do it for yourself do it for me," 

i kiss his trembling lips so softly as i sit on his lap, i hold him tightly, trying to show him i will nto let him break up with me

"you would be divorcing me at this point, we are practically married," i sniffle 

tears roll down his face again

"i don't know what to do," he says 

"don't do anything then," i say trying to convince him

"how long until you have to go off and do this and graduate," i ask

"me and theo have actually already graduated we just need to go back and collect our things," he says 

"oh baby," i cry

"are you ok," i ask realizing this should have been my first question but I was to selfish to realize

"im scared," he sobbs

"tell me, baby ," i say as he puts his head to my chest and wets my shirt

"ive been scared and tired and stressed, the test and the final exams where hard and me and theo where so tierd spending the late nights studying, and keeping it from you and lola has been so heart-wrenching, im scared ill die, its not a high chance but it is a chance because ill be going to missions and meetings that will take up my time. and i have been so scared that when ive finally let you go you will sleep with other men and i mean its the point of letting you go so you can experience life, i dont want to do this i just want to lie in your warm arms untill the pain leaves me, i just want to have thoose things, i dont understand why i have to do this, i mean tom is doing it i just want you and me," he rants

it takes me a second to take it in and realise he doesn't want this what so ever, he doesnt want to let me go he just wants me, i mean i knew he didnt want this but i didnt know how truly this hrut him

i pat his hair and hold his face close to my chest as i let his settle his breathing

"baby," he says

"if i, if we dont end things i cant promise you everything you deserve but i will try, and i cannot promise you i will forgive me or you yet but i will try," he says lifting his head as i kiss him softly showing my affection

"i only want to do whats best for you," i whisper

"then stay and let me hold you, before you have to leave for school," he whispers before picking me up and sitting on the arm chair as i sit in his lap as he shushes me and kisses my forhead and rubbs my back. he must of done that for a long time because i feel asleep.

...

i woke up on matheos warm body still in the chair, he was softly snoring, i leaned back and looked at his peaceful face, his mouth was a little ajar his hands were to the sides of him, his hair was a little messy his face rosy.

i kissed his forehead and i see his brown eyes blink

he does a big stretch before i rest my head on his chest again

"ive made up my mind my love," he says

"ive decided im keeping you forever and im going to be selfish and keep you because i think a broken heart would have killed me instead," he smiles 

"awwww augh baby your so freaking cute," i say giving him a big ol smooch

i hear knock on the door and i say come in

"heyyy," lola says shyly

"whats up," i smile

"wellll i just want to see if yall ok, " she smiles

"yes," i say giving her that look i will tell her later

"alrighty, and matheo you got some like drool on the side of your face," she says before chuckling and leaving

i look at him wiping it of

"i had a very good nap," he said

...

"im kicking you out tonight go sleep with Theo and tom and Draco im having a girls night," i giggle as lola comes in with all of her things.

"alright love," matheo says kissing my head before leaving in his pjays and pillow and blanket

...

"gurl so tell me what the fuck happened," lola says so interested

"Basically he was tryna break up with me cause the boys leave early and they have already graduated and Matheo since hes going on missions and shit he wanted to break up with me because he was afraid if he died i would be heartbroken i mean lets be real i would be following him to the grave," i say breathing

"but i convinced him to be selfish and take me and have me and shit but hes so sweet like he was ready to scrifice his love to keep me happy and stuff," i smile

"AWWWWWW bitch thats so sad and sweet," she says

"dont make me  laugh," i say before fixing the face mask that i had on

"sooooo," i ask rasing my eyebrow

" i wanna know how theo is in bed," i smirk at her before she blurts out

"oh hes good like real good, like hes damn, and hes big as well," she smirks before i burst out laughing

"IM CRYING THAT WAS SO TMI," i say pissing myself laughing

"hows matheo," she ask laughing

"real good, hes so needy and he whimpers and groans," i say 

"weak on my knees if theo whimpered i would be going down on him all the time," she says so loudly laughing

"whimpering and groaning men do something to me," i say as we stay silent for a second before bursting out laughing

"THATS SO REAL," she says