forevermore [poetry]

Depression was a friend of two sides

Depression was
Perhaps my friend...
Or maybe also my enemy
But it was the only thing that stayed.

It stayed when my mothers love
Strayed
It stayed when my father
Gave up on me
When it seemed more convenient for him.

It was there through ups
And it was there through lows
Or maybe it was the low
But it still was there

Showed me a sea of comfort
An ocean of endless opportunities
To relieve pain
Depression was there for me

It was there when my brother hated me
It was there when I took those pills
It was always there.
It was mine
The only thing that was mine.

But I'm confused now
Because who am I
Without depression.
Why do I deserve to be without it
And why do I feel so empty
When it's gone

My depression was a crutch
Perhaps I'm missing that
A scapegoat
Something to blame

But I'm healthy
I'm happy
But I miss the blood
And the relief
I miss the thing that was a part of me

I miss the lows
I miss depression
But I'm grateful
I'm healthy
And that I'm happy.