𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝙸 𝚂𝚎𝚎 𝙸𝚜 𝚈𝚘𝚞 | Dolores x Reader

You Linger Like A Tattoo Kiss

You counted every single second that passed in your head, wondering if time had stopped for you the moment you confessed. Your life had been put to a stop, and somehow you were becoming someone you promised you never would, no matter how many rocks life throws at you to knock you down.

But it couldn't be helped, could it? Loving Dolores was the one thing that kept you breathing; living. And now that the only thing that lingered with her presence was heartbreak, it became suffocating. Like chasing after a breath that would only never come; choking and in search of something.

Something to make you feel alive once more. Some kind of proof that you were real, despite the numbness in your heart going into overdrive just to get rid of the grief residing inside of it. You didn't want any more lows. You just wanted someone, anyone, to love you; to show you that you could still be loved despite the mess that you were in.

The very thought that Dolores probably heard your conversation with Isabela already had you regretting letting her in. Almost forgetting she was here in the first place, she breaks the silence. "Tell me something no one knows about you."

"Hm." You murmur, contemplating the very few things you have yet to tell Dolores, the one person who knew you maybe even more than you know yourself. "Let's see..."

"Just like her, I desperately wanted to be loved. I wanted an emotional intimacy with someone so strongly that they would look at me, see the mess that I am, and still be able to look me in the eyes and tell me they wanted me. That they loved me. But I decided to put up this front that I was perfectly content with living my life alone til the end, that I'd live independently."

But whenever someone tried to push their way into your life, you would close the door to your heart instantly, protecting the love you had for Dolores and promising yourself you would never waver from that loyalty.

You believed that was what Dolores deserved for bringing you into her life and providing light into its darkness.

"And you?" You ask back, noticing Isabela looking into your eyes as you spoke, the two of you lying on your bed.

"I never wanted to be anyone else before. I was perfectly content with this role, the golden child, the perfect daughter, the one who had to carry herself and the weight of all these expectations. I never, and I mean not even once wished that anyone else in my family would go through the same thing. Until..."

She pauses, clearly hesitating and pondering if she should continue what she was about to say. "Until I realized how badly I wished I were Dolores. I was never one to fantasize about lives I could've lived, but then it crossed my mind. Maybe then we both could've gotten the love we wished for."

"Isabela I-"

"I won't ask you to love me. But it truly was the first time I wished things were different."

"You're still someone special to me." You whisper as you place your hand on top of hers softly. "You're the one here for me right now. And I'm thankful for that."

She smiles at you, and although the wish that someone would love you was granted, it truly felt like shit to not be able to give it back. If it were only that simple.

"What's something you wish you could tell your younger self?"

"That the love in romance books is inaccurate. The younger me romanticized fighting for the one you love so much. I'd tell her that she should be who she is and that she shouldn't have to convince or beg anyone to love her."

"Of course." She whispers, suddenly lost in thought. The one thing she felt like she's been doing all her life was just that. She wanted to please everyone, have everyone love her, and she would do anything, even not being herself.

"And if I had gotten closer to you when we were younger as well, maybe I'd have said the same to you. You were always so bright, you know? But that the fire in you is slowly dimming away the longer you stay with that man."

"It's not easy."

"You certainly make it seem easy. I wish I were able to conceal my feelings as you could."

Isabela sits up, grasping your hand instantly as she stares earnestly into your eyes. "Don't. The fact that you wear your heart on your sleeve is what makes you so endearing."

"Even when I wear it on my sleeve, she couldn't take the hint. I get that she wanted to save our friendship... but she kept avoiding the topic, I felt she was ashamed."

Isabela smiles gently, pulling away before she could let herself indulge in the feeling of your hand in hers. "She was never ashamed. You're all she ever boasted about."

"Simply because she couldn't shout her love for Mariano on the rooftops.

"Or maybe because she cherished you as much as she cherished her feelings for him."

"I don't understand why you keep defending her. All you've been doing is giving me reasons not to give up on her."

"Because she's the only one who can truly make you happy. And I adore you, I do. But even now, she's all you see." She pauses, and you wonder if you imagined the quiver in her voice. "Even as I'm right in front of you, your eyes are searching for her in the memories you've made with her in this very room."

"Isabela-"

"I've already told you, I'm not asking you to love me. All I ask for is for the woman I'm wholeheartedly smitten for, to be okay, to be happy."

"I'm trying to be- without her."

Isabela comes closer, cupping your cheek in her hand. It's warm, unlike those of the cold hands of a woman you once knew. "You wear your heart on your sleeve, luz de mis ojos." She reminds you once more, all the while calling you the light in her eyes.

Your eyes once again brimmed with tears, finally noticing the said glimmer in Isabela's as you stare straight into them. If she hadn't just called you the light in her eyes, you would've mistaken it for the sun. And how it comforted you so, to be the source of such a beautiful light.

"You don't have to chase after her anymore." She whispers as she pulls you close, only hoping it could translate to her saying that Dolores would soon realize what you were to her.

And you felt it, like Isabela was sharing the hope she had through the touch of your bodies, even as she felt she had no hope to find her love. Even when Dolores had played her too.

-

A/N: This my friends, is necessary for development. Do not doubt me. This is 100% a Dolores fic LMAO we're just gonna have to live through the slow burn 🤪

Gnight, been so tired w work, only always having 2-3 hrs of sleep before my 9 hr shift sigh. Hope yall enjoyed!