𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝙸 𝚂𝚎𝚎 𝙸𝚜 𝚈𝚘𝚞 | Dolores x Reader

Right Where You Left Me

The moment Dolores steps out of her room a week after her birthday, the noise of every person and thing overwhelms her. Like the day she first received her gift, she starts to hyperventilate, covering her ears with tears springing in her eyes.

She had gotten so used to being in the comfort of her room that she had forgotten how cursed she was with her so-called gift.

A memory of you flashes in her head, reminding her to take deep breaths, no matter how shaky they are, because eventually, it'll help calm her down, even if your hand wasn't there to rub her back soothingly.

Abuela's stricken voice immediately resounds louder than the others, like it was something she couldn't drown out, no matter how much she wanted to do so. "I've told you that child was no good for her! Now she won't even come out of her room! Is this what you wanted?"

"Mamá we don't even know what happened on her birthday. I know she's good for Dolores."

Already knowing what they were arguing about, she takes a deep breath, mustering the courage to force a smile. This was something Isabela was used to, surely she could do it too... right?

"If she's so good for your daughter, why has she been isolating herself?! What was the point of getting a gift in the first place if she won't help us with it?!"

The words echo repeatedly in her head, like a broken record. If only she had gotten a more helpful gift, like Luisa's, or tía Julieta. Was their family just more blessed than theirs? Why did both Dolores and her mamá have to put up with their gifts that seem to only cause distress?

"Is that really how badly you think of my judgement?" As Pepa finishes her sentence, dark clouds start to form in the sky, the sound of thundering already echoing behind it.

Dolores moves to look into the mirror to scan the smile she placed on her lips, only to find her cheeks stained with tears once again. "Even this, I fail at." She laughs with self-pity, harshly wiping the tears.

"Stop." Whispering with the smallest voice, their arguments only seem to grow louder in her ears. She wanted it all to stop, to feel your arms around her once again, cooing sweet nothings that would help drown it out. "Please, no more..."

"Dolores." Félix calls his daughter's name in a soothing tone, only for her to react defensively and lock herself up in her room once again. "Please mija, won't you talk to us?"

And just like each try for the past week, they're greeted with nothing but silence. Not even Abuela Alma could force her, not like she wanted to since she currently had no use for her gift. Not even Dolores knew if she should feel relieved or disappointed at the lack of effort.

As she locks the door to her room, she slides against it, holding her head in her hands and gripping her locks in between her fingers. "Please, take it all back... Come back and tell me it was a joke, that it's a sick lie. That nothing has to change..."

The face you made, a pained smile on your lips, tears pouring out of your eyes, she couldn't erase it. She couldn't escape it and it's been haunting her. "I didn't mean to make you cry... I didn't want to see your eyes so in despair, yet filled with love. Please, please keep your promise of forever and always."

"It's not right to keep expecting her to be there, knowing she's in love with you. Not when you can't return those feelings." Camilo speaks as he pulls the door open, a small smirk on his lips since he pick-locked the door open. Dolores stumbles on the floor, her hair a mess, deep dark circles under eyes, swollen and red from endlessly crying. "Do you know how troublesome it was to practice it in a week?"

"Get out."

"I'm... practically outside your room."

"Will you stop messing with me-" She's silenced as her hermano pulls her into a tight hug.

"I know I'm not good at feelings. This is all I can do. Everyone's worried, you know."

"Even-?"

"She hasn't come out of her house since then either. Won't you tell us what happened? I'm sure Mami can offer you some kind of advice... one better than what I could possibly say. Which I will say: I think you're in love with her, you just haven't realized it." He says flatly, shrugging his shoulders like it was plainly obvious, and that they were all in on a secret she didn't know about.

"You're right, you're useless." Dolores says as she rubs her temples in annoyance. "Now leave me alone."

Suddenly your words echoes in her head once again, "Your love for him is just as shallow as his love for Isabela." It could only make her wonder what was so wrong about what she felt. If it truly was shallow.

But what right did you have to judge her? What made the depths of your love for her much deeper than those of her feelings for Mariano? Maybe she truly was the problem. Maybe she was right for wanting to be someone else than herself. Maybe then it wouldn't be so hard to live.

"Mija..." Pepa, with Antonio in the middle of her and Félix, walks up to her, cupping her cheek as tears start to pour like rain. Pulling Dolores into her embrace, they head inside the room for privacy.

"I'm sorry..." She says in between sobs, pushing her face into the crook of her mother's neck. "I'm sorry Abuela's mad at you because of me. I'm sorry I snuck out all the time to see her. I'm sorry you have to keep defending her, and that I couldn't do it myself." 

"Oh mija, don't you worry your pretty little head over that." She replies soothingly, rubbing her back up and down, tracing it with her fingers and feeling how much slimmer her daughter had gotten as she locked herself up in her room.

A small cloud appears above them, Pepa starting to reflect the same grief on her daughter's face. She already knew how terrifying her own grief was from her gift, she couldn't help but blame herself for giving her daughter a curse of a gift too.

She didn't want her to keep suffering. "Tell me everything, amor."

And everything was something she couldn't judge either you, or her daughter for. You were both dealing with love differently, which had caused you to clash with one another. It was a similar problem she had with Félix.

"I couldn't leave here... because I feel stuck being at the place where she left me. I couldn't move on. Because moving on would mean losing her completely." And that was something she couldn't bear. It was like the burden was left on her shoulders, and she couldn't put it down.

"All my life, all I've been doing was hoping I wouldn't lose her. That's all I've ever known."

Brushing her curled locks away from her face, Pepa smiles gently. "Don't you think that's what love is?" She places her hand on top of her husband's, with Camilo and Antonio both leaning on them, all of them wearing smiles.

"Of course I love her... but that's... isn't it a completely different love from hers?"

"You tell me, mija. What do you think differentiates platonic and romantic love? Would you be happy for her if she found a partner she could love? Someone that isn't you."

"I..." She couldn't imagine a time where you didn't cross the romantic boundary. Maybe only during the times she knew she was pushing you away towards other people. Truthfully, she couldn't imagine being as intimate with anyone else. She couldn't imagine baring her soul and vulnerability to anyone else. Almost like she didn't want to. Imagining you ending up with Isabela once again made her stomach churn.

Suddenly, a montage of memories starts to play in her head, playing in slow motion as if gears were still turning, processing. Her time with you was like a series of secret rendezvous, it was filled with thrill. All the highs she had in her life were filled with you. And even the darkest times of her life, you were there. She didn't want you being like that with anyone else.

Did that really mean...?

-

A/N: EHE. Have a good night y'all! Or err, morning or afternoon, depending on where you're from. Cheers to a new update lmao. My hands hurt from working all day, ugh. Also, I'm gay.

Hope y'all enjoyed this chap, lemme know if yall saw any grammatical errors. K bye.