Anachronistic: Endless Masquerade

13 | When Does it Stop Hurting?

- 13 -

Pandora flicked her cigarette butt over the railing and watched it fall away into the blackness below. Even with the moon high in the night sky, there wasn't enough light to see it hit the ocean. Dinner with Lilith had gone the same way. There were indications of progress; moments where her forced smile faded to a genuine one, if only briefly. Lilith's happiness may be too distant to see right now, hidden in the darkness, but she would reach it. After all, a cigarette tossed from the side of a ship only had the ocean to land in. Pandora would make sure Lilith's options were equally limited.

        Even if she had no idea how.

        Pandora pulled her cloak in a tight hug around herself and headed back to the cabin, speaking to Renna as she walked. "I wish you were here to help me. I'm not cut out for this."

        As she opened the door she found Lilith sitting on the bed flipping through the pages of a book. Her worries eased at the sight. At least Lilith was taking her advice. The distraction would be good for her; give her a break from her emotions. Pandora knew from experience just how exhausting grief could be.

        The click of the shutting door drew Lilith's attention. "That didn't take too long."

        "Of course. You're talking to a pro. I can put two cigarettes end to end and smoke them both in a single drag."

        "Impressive. But don't you think that's a waste? Shouldn't you take your time to enjoy them?" Lilith's face twisted into a fake smile. Pandora could only guess at the pain she was failing to hide.

        "Normally I would, but it's getting late."

        Pandora shuffled over to her suitcase and flipped the lid up. She unfastened her cloak before folding it and setting it inside the bag, then moving to her shirt. Starting from her collar, she freed each button on the blouse, then let it slide off her body. "We should probably get to sleep soon."

        Pandora tossed the shirt toward the chair. She gave it little regard when it missed and landed on the floor nearby. Turning back to Lilith, she said, "We can leave a table lamp on if you want to keep—" A beat-red face shot away from her and settled on the room's only window.

        "...reading."

        Lilith raised her book and hid her face in the pages. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stare."

        Though her plain bra on full display was the obvious reason to feel embarrassed, when Pandora looked down at herself all she could see were the assorted scars she had collected from years of hunting. A six-inch line of pink flesh on her right hip, three circular marks under her left breast & a long gash on top of it, and a myriad of small wounds along the length of her arms. She moved her hands to cover the largest and most obvious of them.

        "I... I think I want the lights off," Lilith said.

        "If it bothers you I can sleep with my blouse on."

        "No, That's not it. I'm just done reading is all."

        Lilith was a terrible liar, but Pandora had no desire to challenge her on this one. For some reason, she wanted the lights out too. She flipped the switch off and crawled into the bed. Even in the dark, she pulled the sheets up to cover herself but didn't know why. She had never been shy of her body before, but something about Lilith looking made her chest tight.